81/100
She was loved by all. Everyone wanted to be with her. She was vibrant in nature so the attraction made sense. Good company to be with. She never knew hurting others or so she thought. She wanted people to be happy. It made her happy to see others happy. But, making everyone happy is impossible. Only if she knew this. Instead, the one’s she couldn’t make happy thought of her as biased. Maybe it was true. There were a few she absolutely loved to see happy. Her heart soared high in happiness when she saw them happy. So she tried more for them. But in process some were ignored, never intentionally. Though not on purpose, people were hurt. Hearts grew apart. That’s when she felt the effect. The distance, the heartache. She felt it all. She didn’t know what went wrong. She could sense people drifting away. She tried stopping them, only separating the already distant hearts more. She was accused. She tried to explain, she failed. She tried to match up, she failed. Maybe trying too much was the problem. But she couldn’t help it. She never wanted this. It broke her. But there were those who still loved her. They supported her. She needed it. Seeing people who once loved her, who she loved, loathing her, blaming her wasn’t easy to live with. But then there were those who cared for her, genuinely. She treasured them. She could survive seeing them happy. She would be the way she is, for them. She just existed, pretending to live. Pretending for those who loved her. Pretending to be happy. She thought it was easier, easier than admitting that she was sad. That would require reasons and explanations, leading to more heartache. No. Pretending to be happy is easy. Yet sometimes, even now, the pretence fades, revealing the real her. She cries. Sometimes its okay to let the tears flow. They flow reliving those memories and with a lot of could-have-been scenarios. But she soon gets back to pretending as life with tears and what ifs and memories is not survivable. Sometimes she is actually happy. At those times, she hopes and wishes that maybe someday she’ll be so perfect at pretence that she might actually end up being happy forever.
Forever is a myth, if only she knew.
oh my, innocence lost…. but then is it? surely, she knows that her abundance rests within her heart… a heart that beats first for her and her alone if she so chooses…. she is never alone in this knowing… sure, things pass as people and the what is/has been arise and fade…. just as the sunsets sing their Ode and the catapillar becomes butterfly all worldly things do change… surely, she is knowing that it is her constancy of purpose that both attracts and repels… but like the beat of her heart
it belongs to her and her alone…. but as horse is to water she too must decide to drink from it too…. 81 is ace 😊
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How beautiful is this 🙂 specially her heart beats first for her and her alone! Powerful! Thank you so much. Lovely comment. 81 is unbelievable haha 🙂
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100 seems such a small step, no? although, as I of course – in that stereotyped He-Man way- said to myself… targets, pah!! I’ve said I’ll stop and that’s it no need to counting the days for me…. except, shhhhh, I have been through your 100 pst that’s a secret though… lol lol lol… a great journey and with a bit to go too… you can add smoking cessation coaching to your cv… lol
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Hahahahaha. That’s so sweeeet. Shhhh, it’s a secret indeed! 100 does not seem small because I am scared I will exhaust all my words haha! 🙂 I think you should count how many days has it been since you din smoke…i think it’s around 50 or lil less!!! Which is superrrrb!
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Oh, Pooja. This is so heartfelt, touching, heartbreaking and poignant. Looks like she has been hardened by the harsh realities of life.
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Thank you so much, Shweta! Yes, life does that to people 🙂
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You’re very welcome 🙂
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So heartfelt, best read of the day…Power to her.
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Oh wow, that’s kind of you. Thank you so much!
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Heartfelt…. Thanks for sharing this dear. ❤️❤️
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Thank you so much, I am motivated by your words 🥰
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Well she’s not alone…all of us are pretending in some way or the other… pretend till you fool yourself to believe it too..that’s life 🤷
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Spoken the truth like always spot on! I guess that’s all of us, we win at life when we stop the facade and lead with just love!
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Such a heartfelt one ❤❤❤ You cannot keep everyone happy if you try to do that you will fail miserably!!! Somewhere, sometimes people have to let things go
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Yes indeed, only that letting go is hard. Pretty hard. But you gotta do what you gotta do!!
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You’re an excellent writer. But I hope this isn’t written by experience.
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Ahh, but it is. It’s easier now. Thank you so much!
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I’m sorry 😕
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Wow, I agree with everyone here, dear Pooja. This is a beautiful post, full of loss, love, awareness, regret, resilience, and much more. You’ve explained the human condition well, here, my dear friend. ❤️
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Thank you, dearest Jeff! It is all humans, isn’t it. Failing, getting up and then winning at life. One step at a time. Kudos to those to learn to ace it 🙂
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Exactly so, dear Pooja. One step at a time, and inside each of those steps lives the possibility of mastery. How fun. Have a lovely week, my dear friend. ❤
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a person i use to work with would always say…”fake it until you make it.” i agree with gibberish.
well, at least we know which toes are yours!!!! 😉
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Hahaha atleast we know that!!!! 🙂 Ah, I would rather believe that we win when we stop the facade and face our reality!
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🙂
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Marvelous❣️
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Thank you so much! 🙂
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Beautiful….It feels someone is poured his heart ❤️
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I am so happy to read this, you made my day!!! I love when someone likes what I write 🙂
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Thanks!🙏
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Such a lovely lovely read! She deserves only love and no hate, for she seems like a goddess born in the wrong planet. Love your works! How is it writing everyday for 100 days? Very challenging, isn’t it? You’re doing a wonderful job stoically and that’s so impressive! 🤍🤍🤍
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I hope she decides to concentrate on her well being and only focusses her energy on things that make her happy. She deserves all the happiness in the world.
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🥺🥺🥺 so so sweeeeet. I hope so too! Self love does not come that easy to all but learning and growing!
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