I made some new friends…or not!!

26/100

Most people in India are familiar with the fact that cyclone Tauktae was suppose to pass through Bombay today so I woke up to loud rain and wind noises. I am not really scared of it but ofcourse I feel extremely sorry for people whose home’s were water logged or damaged due to it.

Me being more privileged than others, since I have a stable home where I stayed indoors, I decided to chase clouds using my phone. Oh and the wonders I caught!!! First and foremost I caught these three gentlemen crossing through the ledge of my balcony.

No but seriously, how gorgeous is nature’s work and by that mean both the sky and the monkey! I was scared they will take my phone away but I don’t scare easy so I simply changed the location which lead to this.

Yup, they were this close to taking my phone away! I heard my partner calling for me and shooing the monkey while I went to check something in another room, I simply assumed the phone must have fallen due to wind but no one small monkey wanted the phone. But I am glad to announce he did not win. My phone is safe, for now. Since my spirit is still not deterred, chances of them getting my phone are still pretty high. As a background to this, they have broken and ripped out four of my plants. Literal heart break so I don’t think I’d be that sad about the phone, my heart has taken worse Mr. Monkey. I know he won’t read this but just felt good to type it. Moving on, since I still had my phone I finally did capture the heavy rain attack today.

It’s so mighty, this world and it’s creator. You can see in the video that the wind shook my phone so much at start that the lapse is shaky. You will be able to see nature’s wrath as well as it’s beauty. Birds visited the ledge for shade and stared at the sky alongwith me. I will never stop being in awe of nature’s marvel around us. I have also tried to capture this on my gopro, I am not sure if anyone is interested to see that so I didn’t really transfer that. Maybe some other time 🙂

How to cope?

25/100

I was really excited for today’s blog, simply because I have completed a quarter portion of my 100 day target and I felt happy about it. Sadly, life happened and this might not a very happy post.

How to cope with repetitive disappointment? From a person, a job or just a situation. If all I get is regular disappointment, is it not right to move away from it? Even if we love and care about the person or thing so much, is it worth sticking around and keep getting disappointed? If the answer is to move away, how to cope from loss? And if the answer is to stick around and give more chances or make more attempts, then too the question is same, how to cope with sadness? Personally, I believe the answer is to be self sufficient, not to keep any expectations and not to give anyone or anything the power to disappoint. This clashes with another inner thought that is such an existence, of not having expectations from other beings, a fulfilling one? If you don’t touch hearts and people or things don’t touch your hearts, what is the greater purpose? So, once heart is involved, expectations are only natural.

Sadly, all I have are questions or internal clashes. I just hope if this disappointment gets toxic, I have the strength to move away.

Why do we have to adult?

24/100

The title is my constant complain and I might never stop complaining about it. I have spent most of the day today with kids and boy did I love it. No tension, no accountability, no responsibility, just pure unadulterated joy. By kids, I mean teenagers. So, adults but like not really adults. Just the ideal age, haha. In my teens, I was honestly just studying. I think the world now is more acceptable for teens and they have so many options of what they wish to choose as a career option. GenZ, as they are called, have an oasis in front of them. My millennial self is definitely jealous. I don’t think that one cannot choose after a certain age, some still can. All I am saying is, you have to be a little privileged to be able to leave all responsibilities and just choose an option that is risky. If you are running solo, with no one else dependent on you, then too you can change your career path and choose a risky option.

Covid has been both a blessing and a curse for students from what I know. I met a teenager in December, who told me more than half of her class is now self employed and doing some or the other small business pursuing their creative skills and passion. I found it very commendable. Let’s face it, education in school and college is good to have a degree but has no real help if you want to pursue something creative. Most of the life lessons are best learnt between lectures in schools and colleges, not so much in lectures.

Ah well, as I said all I did in my teens was study, study, study or read novels and watch tv. Even now, I do random stuff like dance alone, shoot beautiful nature and talk to my plants. That is what keeps me sane in this entire adulting scene. So kids and adults, it’s important to find your sane moment in this mad rushing world and if you know what keeps you sane or should I say what keeps you mad and pure like a kid, never stop doing it.

Photography: My lost love!!!

23/100

It’s a takeover!!! Me consistently writing has inspired my partner in crime it seems because when I told him to pen down a post, he not only agreed but also took time and did it with all sincerity. Please show him some love.

So today my wife has given me the honor to hijack her blog for a day and here it goes…

How did it all start???

My earliest memories of holding a camera was when my father had got this Konica film camera from Singapore. I was quite young, early years of school and the thing that I was fascinated with was the color of the camera(understable for the age). It was a mix of bright red and black (never seen such a color combination since then)..Also no memory cards back then..There were these films with a limit of 36 photos only and no previews available. By the time I actually understood how to use it for what it was someone whom my father had lent it to broke the camera and my heart too..

The second camera and the one I actually put to use came to me when I was in the 8th grade and we had a week long school trip to Delhi, Agra and Jaipur. But again I believe it was my inclination towards the technology more than my love for the art itself. I barely understood the technicalities of clicking a good picture.

I guess my real interest in the art developed when I got to use a friend’s DSLR. It was just soo intriguing to understand how it worked and how I could do soo many things with it. Another thing that pushed me towards learning the art was to be able to click pictures that we see in magazines and on social media. I guess this is a pattern with me, I see something that interests me and then I want to do that too at that same level. An example: I love watching cooking shows but I can’t cook like that, however what interests me and something that I have relatively mastered is the art of chopping vegetables. Might sound funny but it really gives a sense of satisfaction seeing myself chop veggies like a professional. That’s for another blog maybe so coming back to photography..

Once I got my own DSLR there was no stopping. I would just randomly click pictures. Wherever I went anywhere I had my camera bag with me clicking pictures of anything, everything and everyone. Every week I would attend photo walks, training sessions, editing classes and what not..I was just soo into it. Probably one of the first and probably the only thing that I did with my whole heart (had tried painting for a couple of months in 12th grade but the interest lasted only for a couple of months)..Clicking a picture the way I visualized it would give me the best feeling in the world.

But with time all of this just took a backseat and now I hardly use my camera. I do miss that feeling as it was something I put all my heart into. As we grow and have more responsibilities on our shoulders we tend to put things that give us joy on the back burner. But time and again you get these subtle reminders that you are missing something and that you need to get back to it..Some of us are able to and for some it just becomes a thing of the past. I really hope to find my love back someday!!!

What’s your long lost love or maybe something you don’t want to lose atall??

I wonder if..

22/100

I just want to wonder aloud. If someone loves to do something, is it necessary to be good at it? Is it okay to do something you are not good at but love to? Or rather if I rephrase this, something I will not achieve anything from but absolutely love doing. I love shooting random videos of places I visit and then editing them or clicking picturesque scenes. I never post them on any of my social media, that’s not why I click or shoot them. I love documenting memories. I love it a lot. So essentially, my happiness and documenting memories are the only two purposes served. I doubt if that is okay because I get asked about it so many times, what do you do with these pictures? When I tell the true answer, I get, “oh, that’s all”. Somehow it seems that it is not enough? Does it need to have a higher purpose? Can I not choose my happiness? Do I have to be productive? Somedays I randomly paint, somedays I wake up at 6 to catch sunrise. No reason. I just do it because it makes me happy. I hope that’s okay.

Lately, I have been wondering if I should do random fun collections of fiction world I love. Harry Potter, Game of Thrones etc. Why? No reason. I just love doing random things. Last week, I wanted to do blogs and videos about places I have traveled but I have no clue what made me chuck that idea. Sometimes, I wish I was not this random. However, since I am this random, I hope it’s okay?

Spotlight on them sexists!

21/100

If you are someone who believes “this is just a joke, nothing to be so offended or serious about”, don’t read further. I do not want you telling me to take it as a joke. I will not.

You disgust me.

I was infuriated when I read this, just mildly putting it. How can someone be so stupid to make these “jokes” in such hard times and even more stupid to SHARE it? Imagine reading this between the helpline numbers and resource numbers that are being circulated, ugh. Even then I know a few people who’d find this funny and defend this saying that it’s a joke, chill. You chill, go inside the fucking freezer and chill there. Don’t come out. Stay chilled. These jokes are always targeted to riducule a spouse, degrade them and are usually sent by people who are married. Some with really long term marriages and kids. Well, tell me one thing, unless you were dragged to the ceremony, why did you get married and why are you staying married if your spouse is such a big problem? I am not sure how you won’t see the insult unless you had a problem. People take the cover of screen and show their true personalities on social media, knowingly or unknowingly. Laughing at insensitive and insulting jokes, sharing them and not seeing them for what they actually symbolize is something even educated men and women are guilty of.

While I know both men and women who enjoy these jokes, very sadly the joke is mostly targeted towards women in one way or another. Men slyly saying how they feel “free” because their wives have gone to her native, how the weapon of wives rage in these jokes is “rolling pin” or “belan” because women represent kitchen as per them and how men need boys night out because they are done with their wives cribbing. If you are a guy who thinks saying any one of these things is okay, please know you are misogynist and sexist. You do not deserve a supportive and caring partner because the base for any relationship is respect and these do not show respect, far from it, they are insulting. Oh there are some very peculiar jokes centering around how women just spend “hard earned” money of their husbands. It is suggesting and generalizing that women cannot sustain on their own and are not self sufficient. With so many problems highlighted as “jokes”, I wonder why do sexist men marry at all? Spare women the misery and don’t.

Now for those who think these are just harmless jokes, its all fun and these are so hilarious, the term you are looking for is Disparagement Humor. Let me also help you with definition. Disparagement humor elicits amusement through the denigration, derogation, humiliation, victimization, or belittlement of individuals, social groups or ideologies. Now, if this makes you laugh, you make me sick. You are actually saying it is okay to insult an entire group because it was a joke, no, what it is for real is hostile and prejudiced. A study suggests how these jokes and this type of humor is the base for far bigger problems. I quote directly from this study “In Study 1, male students were exposed to either sexist or non-sexist jokes. Males exposed to sexist jokes reported higher levels of rape proclivity in comparison to males exposed to non-sexist jokes”. I am in no way suggesting that everyone who sends this is a sexist. There are some people who just send everything they receive with zero thought, some want to poke their partners, some are frustrated in their relationship and some are sexist. All I can say is, don’t be someone who is hell bent on not seeing the error in your ways. If you didn’t know it in this light until now, now you do. Be better, call out people who are being sexist, educate them and help take this world one step closer to how it has been intended to be.

I have been Queer Eyed!

20/100

I have been a lover of this show called QUEER EYE since FOREVER and it gives me so many feels when I see it! Today, all day we binged QUEER EYE while working and my love for this show has somehow increased which I didn’t know was a possibility. I continuously have this huge smile or happy tears when I am watching this show, I do “YASS GIRL” so many times I could give you a headache. Not even kidding. This show embraces learning and positivity in such an endearing way, you cannot help but feel so good.

They cover people’s struggles and show how one can learn so much from it. We must accept each part of ourselves, the good, the bad and the ugly. It makes us who we are. Oh and we are all so stunning! No matter how much the society or your own family has dragged you down, or your own thoughts are your demons, you deserve happiness. In abundance. Just look for it with open arms and most importantly, learn to show yourself love. One of the best parts about the show (as per me) is how they pick common people, like you and me, and make us the star of our lives and the show. Well, it’s so obvious really. We are the rockstars and heroes of our own lives and we deserve that attention and happiness. If you use movie as a metaphor for your life, be the badass main lead and pamper yourself for being so amazing. Yes, we falter. That is what makes this movie a hit, how you get over it and do better from there on. How you enjoy the ups and survive the downs. Rememeber that if you are experiencing the down, it’s not the end, hold on tight as the happiness will come to you.

You don’t need to do something extraordinary to deserve the happiness and love. Your struggles are defined by you and so are your victories. The best and the most relevant validation you can receive is from your ownself. Be a winner in your eyes. I wish we all had friends in our lives like those five superheros on the show which showed us how we are amazing and made us love ourselves in such a beautiful manner. The entire process is heart warming and to watch people win against their inner struggles is the kind of content that is the need of the hour in these tough times. Ah, I cannot stop fangirling over the show. If there is one thing you need to start watching is this show. Thank me later for the recommendation 🙂

If you had to choose a movie to describe your life, which would it be? Mine would be a mix of Ye Jawaani Hai Deewani, Dead Poets Society and Inside Out.

Welcome to my story!

19/100

We meet people as we cruise through our busy lives doing busy things playing the role of busy people in a busy world. All through this, we touch so many lives, our life touched by many more! You don’t know where, why, how or with whom your paths intersect, until they actually do! Intersections that create moments. Moments that are futile and forgettable, moments that are epic and life defining. Life is, after all, a bunch of nows! At such intersects we end up meeting some people that make it to your story. You know like your grand life story? A grand book that is a collection of small stories which are full of moments with people you meet, who don’t just pass through your life but become a part of it! People happen to us all the time! Lovely, nice, funny, bad, tragic, boring, nose-digging, snoring, pompous, rude and awesome people! Some abandon you, some hurt you, some don’t love you, some don’t get you and we fight and hurt each other, all making a different story! Some stories are so tragic that you wonder why you really started them, some so damn funny that you don’t ever want them to end. Endless stories! Stories that shape up who you are, change you with time, sharpen you and calm you. They make you, you! I love my stories and my people. What I don’t like are the unfinished stories, no one does. But then it leaves so much to imagination! I can think of so many possibilities and even though I could not get my story with some people, I own all these intersections and ideas! Ideas that might just inspire me to have the greatest story ever, because it is just unfinished and not yet over! So no, I am not really letting you go even as I see you go! I love the idea of you and the idea of a story with you! So, until we intersect again?!

Humanity is not trendy!

18/100

It’s Sunday, my weekend is almost over and while I expected it to be the happiest time, sadly it was a mix with sadness and anxiety overpowering the happiness.

On Friday night, I was on call with my best friend who was considering to go to a “private party” the next day and I made it absolutely clear that she should not (for obvious reasons). You know I have always believed if you explain things to people logically (which honestly was not even needed as it is pretty obvious), they will understand. This has been a brilliant reality check for me. People will do shit even when you nicely tell them not to. My advise and concern fell on deaf ears. What’s worse? I actually called her the next day because I REALLY needed to speak with her and the phone was “out of network area”. I knew she’d gone to that party. She had her reasons and while everyone is at their own discretion, I don’t think people care when they do something that is illegal or should I say, criminal? Considering the circumstances. If you are out partying in a pandemic, it is illegal and if you come out unscathed it is sheer luck and while very good for you, it still does not change that what you did was shitty.

The gist of it is that someone in their group needed a “mental break” and forced them to go. I’d call this emotional blackmail and would definitely question the said friendship. Is it friendship if you pressurize your “friends” to commit something that is not just illegal but also life threatening? Either my definitions are misplaced or they actually believe in “friends that die with/for each other”. News flash, you won’t die alone and that is the ENTIRE PROBLEM. If this goes haywire, you will be putting others at risk too. Now, how selfish can someone be who does not care about others because they need a “mental break”? If I have to be absolutely honest, the entire situation disgusts me. To add some color, these people have closed ones that have been infected severely with covid. If seeing the impact on people they love did not stop them, what would? Come to think of it, I was naive to have even asked them to not go. Why the fuck would they listen to me when staring at the damn virus taught them nothing? People like these are a problem bigger than covid. Even a small adjustment like “staying the fuck home” is something these privileged people will not do. It is hurtful, stupid, irresponsible and selfish. Who am I kidding? If they can ignore advise, what will this rant do? Naive again.

Lastly, I would really like if people stopped throwing “mental health” as an excuse to do shitty things. You being anxious or needing a mental break DOES NOT HAVE TO COINCIDE with breaking law and risking others. This could have been solved in tons of other ways but no, they chose this with complete knowledge of how wrong they are. If I broke the law, I would not be able to sleep at night. Forget me, I know my family would be anxious for entire 15 days (the risk period to be infected if you go party without a mask) if I went. I could never ever put someone through this because I wanted a break. All your talks of positivity, being nice, caring and keeping things happy are useless if you cannot keep your ass home during a pandemic. What a sad day for humanity!

Not today!

17/100

How many punches can someone take? Not literal ones or okay as a metaphor let’s say literal ones. How many can one take? There is a limit to it, right? One is bound to fall and feel the pain. Such is life, some would say. However, why is life so unfair to some people? Some face a lot more punches from life than others. Some people learn to overcome it, some glorify pain and some just don’t know what to do with it. If you check the definition of pain “sadness that you feel when something bad has happened”, it hardly covers the depth of the word. “Something bad”, it feels so meager. Pain comes with dark and annoying thoughts, pain comes with a feeling of failure and loss, pain comes with someone else’s sadness, pain comes with someone else’s happiness too, pain makes us act out, pain comes with helplessness. A word that describes so many terrifying things cannot have a simple definition.

There is no rulebook on how to deal with pain. Mental health is the worst affected when you are in pain. If you think about this logically, mental health is what needs to be attended to, whether you are in pain or not. You must seek a therapist, you must speak to people who will listen and who you think might help. This is all very easily said but application? Not so easy. One who experiences pain does not always think logically and they cannot be expected to think straight. Yes, talking to someone helps but they might not wish to talk to anyone. When in pain, everything can seem like a task and it drains you physically and mentally, so to additionally explain someone else why and what happened can be a huge task. When you add this to the fact that someone has had to face this particular punch from life multiple times, you cannot imagine the pain this can cause. I have read it how they explain in books, pain so deep that it cannot be described.

It’s really difficult to know this and yet to just let people be because that is what they wish. It is also incredibly selfish in a way that we want to know and help just so we can cure our anxiety about them. If you have done your best but somehow feel that there is something you have missed and some resentment from the other side, even then we need to let people be. Yes, you care but that is secondary. Yes, you love them but that too is secondary. Everything is secondary to what the person who is in pain wants. That resentment against you can be solved when they are in a better frame of mind, since there is so much love, you must wait. Sometimes, all you can do is wait. Be on standby silently and wait for them to return.

Would like to end with a slight tweak in one of my most favorite quotes, “What do we say to the darkness? Not today”