It’s month end!!

97/100

Before I dive into the topic, I have to say what I keep saying “adulting is so hard”. Where is the pause button on this adulting business? Need one everytime I have to plan my finances. I am not a big spender so not like I have to control anything but adulting, in general, is expensive. Feel me yet?

I want to start with a very happy and cherished memory. I am very close to my grandma, like very. My mom worked as a teacher (she is now retired) so I was brought up by my grand mom too. I anyway think my mom is a super mom because I never ever felt like she was not there at any point in my childhood. But, my mom is not a gossiper! She hates being nosy and always allowed me to share what I wanted. This was not the case with my grandma. She wanted all details, which friend is doing what, who said what to whom. Everything. So naturally, I shared a lot with her. I still do. As a retired RO herself, once she is done with newspaper and daily tv, she still needs real life gossip. So yes, since I was so close to my grandmom, when I grew old enough to get pocket money, it was she who I asked. As she was aware of where I might spend it, it was easy to ask her. Not that my dad would have asked me where I am spending, he is a big spender himself so would have been easier to ask him. Anyway, so considering the free yet disciplined upbringing I had, grandma decided I’d get 1000 bucks to start with. I was really small and really had no use except for buying presents for someone I love. So, I started to save it apart from general expense or if I went on any outing. No one asked me to save it, I did that on my own. I remember my grandma teasing me that since I have saved it, there is no need for more money until that’s spent and me crying to mom, announcing how it was unfair. Words like “it’s my right to receive” were used. It made everyone laugh and obviously the money kept coming in. It increased as I went to college and soon after college, I got my first job. My dear old grandma suggested that now she does not need to pay me, to say I was heartbroken is an understatement. Sure, I will earn but how can she stop giving me the pocket money? It had a sentimental value for me. I think she must have seen how hurt I was when my face fell so she said she will continue. I was happy again. Even though I was earning, I don’t think I understood adulting. All the bills at home, even my rail pass (since he got his own, he used to get mine too) was something my parents were taking care of. All I did was bought occasional gifts or ordered monthly ration for home. That too sometimes. Pocket money continued. It has only stopped sometime ago as my grandma said, “you need to give me pocket money now”. Like she would ever need my money! Even now, on birthdays, festivals and just like that too sometimes, they gift me in cash. I never say no, I love getting that. As I said, it has a sentimental value for me. From getting phone from parents to buying phone got them, the roles reversed. But what has not changed is that they are older to me so I still must get gifts from them (being the youngest in the house)!

Cut to now, when I am almost adulting (not really still). Paying all bills, get groceries, it’s all clear on what being independent actually means. When you sit at month end or start to manage the finances, it is a big task. Also the one I really hate. As I said, I like saving. So even checking the options on where to save is so tedious and needs such constant monitoring. Earlier my mom did all the bank work for me, even when I insisted she let me. She said she has more time than me so it’s only logical she helped me, it was true too. I hate monitoring markets, I have a agent who does so for me. I wish there was an agent to manage the bills too! I am already dreading the next salary credit because I will need to sort what goes where!

What’s your idea of financial independence and do you like managing your finances? Looking for tips!

Imagination spree!

95/100

We went on a drive before dinner today. It drizzled for a bit but nothing too major so our view was good. Our car was on an extended road. Like this road is newly made adjacent to highway with a divider in middle separating the twl. The street lights are on the main highway and this road did not have any lights. It was dark apart from the light from our car’s headlights. All we could see was two red lights at a distance ahead of us. So two red lights, seeming like eyes, staring at us as we moved ahead. The distance remained same but soon it started to seem like we were chasing the demon himself. Trees on both sides, red eyes and us moving in their direction. It felt pretty eerie after a point. Thanks to my (very active) imagination, I started to think about all sorts of “things” we might be chasing and who we might end up having an encounter with. I do believe that ghosts exists and that there are spirits with unfulfilled wishes, still tied to earth because a wish is not fulfilled. We were four of us in the car. I knew that the friend who was driving it, would take a you turn on a one way road if I suggested that it was demon we were chasing. The other girl would be interested in finding out what it is, she watches youtube videos about supernatural things as a hobby. Even I would want to know what it is, atleast upto a certain point. The last guy would not be too keen to chase this! So, weighing the situation I stayed shut and just let my imagination run as to what might happen if that indeed is a demon. Was it the demon leading us? Has he or she seen us? Is it a good spirit or a scorned one? Do we need any weapons? Do weapons even help? As we drove, the separation between highway and extension was about to end and the car (two red tail lights) ahead of us joined the rest of the traffic, as did we, much to my disappointment.

Do you believe in ghosts?

Shoot your shot, I mean star!

90/100

He wanted to own that toy car right from the moment he had set his eyes on it but he knew they couldn’t afford it. At night as he sat by the window counting the number of vehicles that passed on the road below he saw the shooting star and wished for that car…

She had seen her child’s eager and wistful eyes as he saw the car. The inability to fulfill her child’s unsaid wish sliced her heart. So as she sat in balcony crying the silent tears she saw the shooting star and wished her child gets all the happiness in the world…

He knew they were right. Each word they uttered showed their care and concern, he should have had a secured job by now. And yet he had been a jerk and yelled at his parents for pressuring him. While he mulled over these events sipping his drink outside the bar, he saw the shooting star and wished that he cracks the interview tomorrow…

It had been an easy banter, the kind they always had. They always made fun of each other but this time the reactions weren’t that civil. There are misunderstandings. She saw the shooting star as she strolled the park and wished that they would always be the best friends they are…

He knew his time was ending. This disease was eating him up slowly, each day getting even more painful than the last one. Yet when he saw the shooting star from the window beside his bed he wished for some more time just so he could still wake up to see his wife’s smile to have him alive..

Not a day had passed when she wouldn’t have thought about her daughter, about what she could be doing, how she looked. She had no choice but to send her off to orphanage lest her in laws would have killed the girl child. As she waited for her husband to return she saw the shooting star and wished for her daughter’s happiness…

He had practiced it well, he knew he could crack it. He wanted that proud smile on his parent’s face as he got the prize. He sat revising the answers again and that’s when he saw the shooting star wishing he’d win the quiz competition tomorrow…

I know a pretty random post, don’t know how and why i wrote this. But it propped up in my mind as i read about the shooting star. Of all the explanations i read about the shooting star, this one seemed very interesting and sweet to me:
Legend has it that wishing upon a shooting star makes the wish come true. It is believed to have originated in Europe, when Greek astronomer Ptolemy, around AD 127-151, wrote that the Gods occassionally, out of curiosity, even boredom, peer down at the earth from between the spheres, and stars sometimes slip out of this gap, becoming visible as shooting or falling stars. Since the Gods are already looking at us at such a time, they tend to be more receptive to any wishes we make! One more interesting thing i came across is that in Chile when you spot a shooting star, you must pick up a stone in the same moment, while making a wish. If you’re in the Phillipines, you must tie a knot in your handkerchief instead!

At the end it all comes down to your beliefs! No harm in trying i say!
Oh and also, always keep a wish handy, you never know when you might just witness the shooting star! 

Where it all started!

83/100

It’s my partner’s birthday on Sunday and that is all my head and day is occupied with lately! I want to do something special for him but I am really short of ideas!!! He will be reading this (he is my first reader and proofreader too) so please pay extra attention to the point that it has been hard planning anything!!! However, why wait till Sunday to make you feel special? I am in a happy mood today so have decided to share how me and him actually met. It will be a story for you all and trip down memory lane for him! 🙂

So, 2018, picture a girl dancing with her office friend on an empty road as their car had taken a stop before the final picnic spot. This said friend was recording the said funny dance and posted it on her social media where it caught the eye of a boy as girl’s office colleague is boy’s college friend. Who could have imagined this? He texts asking about the girl in the video to his friend and says he would like to speak to her (Talk about going straight for the shot, eh?). So, I was still merrily enjoying my office outing when I was told about this random boy and how he “liked” my dance or video or whatever it was! To be honest, my first reaction was “okay”. Like, fine a guy liked my video, no big deal. I did not even think much over it when this colleague (our common friend aka cupid) told me he wants to talk to me. I was like, huh?? What? Ofcourse, I will not talk and this was it. We spent our office outing enjoying the camping and just like that the weekend was over. What was not over was this common friend’s insistence that I have to atleast speak to the guy, he is amazing and so on and so forth. Just to get her off my back and because I love her dearly, I said okay I will speak to him and she inturn told him to message me. Here is the interesting bit, for someone who wanted to speak to me, this guy took his own time messaging and I am not used to waiting (later it became known he had a hectic work day which caused the delay). So, what do you think I’d have done? I really wanted this done with and never really believed in waiting for the guy to message so I messaged him instead!! In my head, it was suppose to be a quick chat and then bye bye. But here we are, three and a half years later, with me narrating the start of this story!

Love came to me when I least expected it. Least. I was too focused on work and enjoying my life, one trip at a time to get into a serious relationship! He, on the other hand, was looking for a serious relationship. We spoke for about 10 days I guess, video calls and chatting, like it goes before he asked me out on a date. Not in a cheesy way, more like two friends wanting to hang and I said yes because it was not cheesy plus we were going to a flea market so I was really excited about that, apart from meeting him ofcourse! The meeting did not seem like it was our first, I felt at ease immediately and we were talking, roaming and telling stories to each other in no time (I have no clue how he felt but I am guessing it was good for him and you will know why soon!). The best part? Food. I am a hogger and he does not scare easy I guess because he was okay with no matter how much I ate and was willing to check more food options (big big YESSSSS!). It was a cute evening date followed by a peaceful dinner and then we went home. I reached after him as I lived a little farther from where we had been and as soon as I texted him I reached, he asked me if I will be his girlfriend (that’s how I know he must have enjoyed too). While we have had our share of ups and major downs, I am pretty sure that yes was a good decision on my part. How did he know in 5 hours of meeting that he loves me? I don’t know. When I ask him, he says “I just knew”. He is a man of few words and I never stop talking. He hardly expresses and I hardly contain emotions. He is the calm and I am the storm. I can deal with all these opposites! What I cannot deal with is why does he have to add ketchup to everything? It changes the taste!!!

Hope my story brought a smile to your face, I love love stories so do let me know if you have one too?

Facade!

81/100

She was loved by all. Everyone wanted to be with her. She was vibrant in nature so the attraction made sense. Good company to be with. She never knew hurting others or so she thought. She wanted people to be happy. It made her happy to see others happy. But, making everyone happy is impossible. Only if she knew this. Instead, the one’s she couldn’t make happy thought of her as biased. Maybe it was true. There were a few she absolutely loved to see happy. Her heart soared high in happiness when she saw them happy. So she tried more for them. But in process some were ignored, never intentionally. Though not on purpose, people were hurt. Hearts grew apart. That’s when she felt the effect. The distance, the heartache. She felt it all. She didn’t know what went wrong. She could sense people drifting away. She tried stopping them, only separating the already distant hearts more. She was accused. She tried to explain, she failed. She tried to match up, she failed. Maybe trying too much was the problem. But she couldn’t help it. She never wanted this. It broke her. But there were those who still loved her. They supported her. She needed it. Seeing people who once loved her, who she loved, loathing her, blaming her wasn’t easy to live with. But then there were those who cared for her, genuinely. She treasured them. She could survive seeing them happy. She would be the way she is, for them. She just existed, pretending to live. Pretending for those who loved her. Pretending to be happy. She thought it was easier, easier than admitting that she was sad. That would require reasons and explanations, leading to more heartache. No. Pretending to be happy is easy. Yet sometimes, even now, the pretence fades, revealing the real her. She cries. Sometimes its okay to let the tears flow. They flow reliving those memories and with a lot of could-have-been scenarios. But she soon gets back to pretending as life with tears and what ifs and memories is not survivable. Sometimes she is actually happy. At those times, she hopes and wishes that maybe someday she’ll be so perfect at pretence that she might actually end up being happy forever.

Forever is a myth, if only she knew.

No such thing as too much vacation!!

75/100

My vacation was suppose to end today and we were going to head home but then Saturday night we read the news that the state released some restrictions so we decided yesterday to extend for a day and now we leave tomorrow afternoon. I am big on such impromptu ideas, however they are not always met with same excitement or improvisation that I have. If someone suggests ideas to me, I am always open to them. I do think it is in someway because I know how it feels to be flooded with negativity when you suggest an idea to someone. It’s really hurtful when the first thing someone has to say is “no but what about blah blah”. If you do have some valuable input, can that not be suggested AFTER considering what someone has said? It sure can be, I know it because I sure follow the same. So maybe next time you see someone come to you filled with excitement, don’t deject them with your negativity. It’s okay if you want to give some feedback, but there is a huge difference between negativity and feedback. Huge. So everyone who broadcasts negativity in the name of “suggestion”, please do better. We know what’s what.

My impromptu idea worked this time with some hurdles and we did try to make the most of the day. I am traveling in south india and today was the first time I also came across a very common “language barrier” which has been connected to south as they have a completely different language. Honestly, so far we were really getting along with mix of hindi and english but today I actually communicated in a local person’s tulu vs my english. It seems hilarious now and was completely confusing at that time!! So, we went to the beach for sunset and we were told the transport back to hotel will be super easy to find. We spent our evening and really took our time and left a little before dark. However, much to our surprise, there was no transport available. We kept looking for almost 15 mins when I decided to speak to a local. He kept asking me questions in tulu and trying to guage the hand gestures I responded what I wanted. He then halted another local who was riding a bike and asked him to get transport for us. I was really unsure if that’s what is happening because it was all communicated in their local language. No transport came, no surprises there. I tried stopping a guy on his scooty and much to my surprise he stopped and spoke to me in english. I told him the issue and he said he will send the vehicle as he is going in same direction. With confidence but still doubtful, we started walking in the direction of where vehicle was expected from. After walking for 5 mins, sure enough we saw the local vehicle and when we stopped it they said the guy on scooty had sent him! I was so happy and thanked the guy (though he was not there). Bless him!!! It was pretty adventurous for us as we reached hotel much after dark!

Ah well, if you were at a beach with scene as beautiful as below, would you leave on time? 🙂

Sun playing peekaboo!
Best monday blues!

Start or an end?!

71/100

I need a new word for excitement mixed with paranoia, that’s how I feel right now standing at a local railway station somewhere in Bombay, observing the crowd and diving in my thoughts. Crowd on station this night is a mix of people with varied purposes which are not really difficult to ascertain. Regular commuters, going back home after work, tired eyes, surity of whereabouts and the wait for the train very much evident on their face. Local police, doing their regular strolls to keep people in check, appearing authoritative yet approacable from their gait. Travelers who are waiting for inter state or intra state trains, some excited to start their trip (read me) and some perhaps going to their home, luggage surrounding them, eyes on the indicators to check and double check the place and timing of their coaches. What has hit me though is that inspite of the crowd, there is a lull. A lull I can never associate with Bombay. My city is known for it’s hussle, rush and noise. Pre covid, if you visited the same station at same time, it would be bustling with activity with so much noise, you’d need ear plugs. Some find it too commercialized and crowded, it is my home. I hate seeing my home not seem like home. I visited a local railway station after 1.5 years today, I used to take a train to work 5 days a week and yet it seemed like I cannot recognize this place. Covid has done too much harm already, I can only hope that it does not take away the feeling of home from my city. It might seem too unimportant but for someone who has adored Bombay and everything it is, this is a shock. It means loss of too many business, jobs and a domino effect with it that we are all aware of.

On the positive side, I have successfully boarded the train and that marks a start of a very short trip that we have managed to sneak in our lives after a lot of hussle! See you on the other side! 🥰