The 100th!

100/100

Felt real nice to type that. Up until last night I was so so soooo happy and excited for this. I achieved something I had resolved I will. Felt like a win. I wanted to celebrate and thank you all. Would not have been possible without the support I received.

But, it will have to wait. A day can really change a lot. So maybe I will have to wait a couple of more days until I can celebrate this. Then I shall write what I wanted to. For today, sorry but my thoughts are bad. I will share them anyway because it’s a process. Maybe it will heal me. Who knows.

Hospital. Place where lives are born, treated, given and lost too. One place where you’ll find varied emotions at once. Someone’s happy for they have a new arrival in family, someone’s sad for someone might leave them soon. Personally, I find hospitals a little too depressing. There have been a few times I’ve been admitted. During those times, except for the bloody injections, all was good. People come to meet, you are pampered. Nice nice. It’s depressing when someone you know is in there admitted due to some illness. You feel threatened to lose people, people you love, care about, people you never expected to leave. This feeling kills us even before the actual loss. Every moment is anxiety filled yet hopeful. Anxiety until everything is good. Hopeful until it’s all over. Hospital is the only place I think even an atheist might be spotted praying. But to go through it all is hardship.

A girl can dream!

99/100

Almost there. Almost!

Freely walking down the road at an odd hour,
destination is a little too far,
but to go there I’ll need no team,
Certainly, a girl can dream!

Attending parties at our own discretion,
late night movies will be a viable option,
not missing out on life’s cream,
Atleast, a girl can dream!

Won’t be blamed with no fault of mine,
he’ll be punished, that idiot swine,
to be heard, i won’t need to scream,
Yes, a girl can dream.

Born to a king, married to a prince,
practices of dowry won’t make me wince,
I won’t be pushed to the extremes,
Wistful as it is, a girl can dream!

I’ll be treated as an equal,
Not degraded, if not special,
to be looked at with deserving esteem,
Of this, a girl can dream!

My birth won’t be seen at as a burden,
the shrewd thinking boundaries will widen,
for us with pride all parents will beam,
distant though, a girl can dream!

Misogyny will be abolished,
love and peace established,
of this yet, I see no gleam,
But still, a girl can dream!

Express. Value. Love.

98/100

If you are a reader, you would be familiar with that moment when you read something and it makes you feel so much that the moment and that line or quote never really leaves you. If you are a reader, you would know this. I had one such moment yesterday

It’s really such a small sentence and it holds such a huge value. It conveys so many sentiments. It almost seems like human nature, to behave this way. People we love and cherish are also the people we take for granted. Because those people give us so much, we end up assuming they always will. There is a reason why “distance makes heart grow fonder” holds true, because sometimes it’s separation that makes us realize a person’s value. Needless to say, this line will always stay with me.

Let this tiny post be a big reminder for everyone reading to let that one person you have taken for granted know that they matter! ❤

Win-Win Day!

96/100

If today was a normal day (like I was not doing this challenge), I would not have written. I am dead tired, which is good in a way. Reminds me of pre covid days. My day started at 0630am and is still going on (2230 now). Just wrapped up work which was crazy crazy busy today. Like, too busy for a monday! I still consider the day a win.

The biggest reason for the same is, we went out for breakfast!! I love breakfast dates! They are really my most favorite! I mean I love all meals but breakfast dates are just special. We were three friends, we ate, we talked, we joked and I felt like I am a part of eco system again. It is a very rare feeling in these times of isolation. Everything we ordered was so yummy, even though I am so tired, I’d do it again in a blink of an eye! Only time one can get me out of bed on a workday at 0630 is either for a sunrise or to go on a breakfast date! We also met Oscar! The cutest pug ever and he had such a friendly pet mom, she did not mind my hopeless attempts at persuading Oscar to come to me, at all. She infact encouraged him. At some point, I really felt jealous of his life. I mean he came to the cafe with his pet mom, she fed him then he strolled around for a bit and lastly he decided to settle for a nap in his pet mom’s lap! He is one good boy! Here are some of the yummy things we had!

Looks amazing right? Tasted so so good. The cold brew with coconut water was the best drink! Yes, I am a coffee drinker now! Plus I am also open to experimenting with coffee! Question, how much avacado is too much avacado? Answer, it is never too much! I even took a takeaway of guacamole! Oh, there was this aubergine (eggplant) toast we had which was also delicious. Now it’s time to meet the goodest boy!

Oscar, the winner of goodest boy award!

Another win win kind of situation is that the book I was dying to read is finally here and I have started reading it!!! Hope to enjoy it to the fullest and share the learnings with you all.

How is Monday treating you?

Imagination spree!

95/100

We went on a drive before dinner today. It drizzled for a bit but nothing too major so our view was good. Our car was on an extended road. Like this road is newly made adjacent to highway with a divider in middle separating the twl. The street lights are on the main highway and this road did not have any lights. It was dark apart from the light from our car’s headlights. All we could see was two red lights at a distance ahead of us. So two red lights, seeming like eyes, staring at us as we moved ahead. The distance remained same but soon it started to seem like we were chasing the demon himself. Trees on both sides, red eyes and us moving in their direction. It felt pretty eerie after a point. Thanks to my (very active) imagination, I started to think about all sorts of “things” we might be chasing and who we might end up having an encounter with. I do believe that ghosts exists and that there are spirits with unfulfilled wishes, still tied to earth because a wish is not fulfilled. We were four of us in the car. I knew that the friend who was driving it, would take a you turn on a one way road if I suggested that it was demon we were chasing. The other girl would be interested in finding out what it is, she watches youtube videos about supernatural things as a hobby. Even I would want to know what it is, atleast upto a certain point. The last guy would not be too keen to chase this! So, weighing the situation I stayed shut and just let my imagination run as to what might happen if that indeed is a demon. Was it the demon leading us? Has he or she seen us? Is it a good spirit or a scorned one? Do we need any weapons? Do weapons even help? As we drove, the separation between highway and extension was about to end and the car (two red tail lights) ahead of us joined the rest of the traffic, as did we, much to my disappointment.

Do you believe in ghosts?

No rains for me please!

93/100

It has been raining so much in Mumbai that I am dreading going anywhere. It really hampers everything and it is getting worse each year. I wanted to rant on it and it went on the lines of how unlucky we are to be subjected to this. That is when I remembered a conversation I had with my mom on luck and how it works

I once asked mom what exactly is luck, to which she answered that its God helping us a little in our task! I wondered that God is unbiased and helps everyone then why is it that only a few feel lucky and rest of us keep cursing our luck. As if mom read my mind, she furthur told me that God helps those who have worked sincerely towards it and deserve it. I found it pretty interesting. So luck is not just a fluke, we need to make luck by our constant efforts! But then there are times when i have worked and slogged for many things and still didnot get those! Does that mean i didnt deserve those? Or was it that my efforts were not enough? When i wondered this aloud, mom told me that there were also times when i got things without puting much efforts in them and that time I didnt ask why I got it, I didnt deserve it! That was the other side I was ignoring. There were actually many times when i got things just like that and i never thanked universe for it! But i still didnt understand the basis on which luck favoured us!
Slowly and gradually i have come to understand it! This little thing called luck works in its own funny ways. I would call it God’s blessing! If we observe our life, we are blessed in every moment, we are lucky every moment! I have realized that i dont thank God for all the times i feel blessed or lucky but the precise moment i feel something going against me i say ‘OH NO, why me’!

Universe and the super power works in its own mysterious ways, so we are not favoured with luck everytime or so we feel! We cannot understand those ways, that is the reason there is a super power beyond our comprehension! It is not for us to understand how His ways work! Ours is the job to work hard, be sincere and thank the universe for all that we have today! We are all God’s children, He will take care of each one of us! We all know this, but still many people go to astrologers and numerologists to make their future better! I dont say its wrong, everyone is curious with regards to future, I too read my zodiac daily! But that is not the way to please the universe or God! We all should first thank Him for what we have today!
If i am able to write this post, am luckier than many who never got a chance to study!
If I get to use technology, am luckier than many who dont even get food daily!
If I have parents, am luckier than many children in orphanage!
If I have a place to call home, am luckier than many who live on streets!
If I wake up in morning, i am luckier than many who died!

I had decided that I will try to stop cursing my luck and show gratitude instead for giving me such a blessed life! However, every now and then I slip and end up with self pity cursing and finding excuses. But today, I chose not to rant but to instead be grateful that I am safe home. I hope everyone else is safe too ❤

Do you believe in luck?

Private much!

92/100

In India, privacy is pretty much nonexistent for a lot of people because we stay in joint families and are brought up in a very inclusive environment where parents check in on everything we do. It has it’s pros and cons. While I come from a family where my parents gave me complete space after I started going to college, it is not the same for everyone. This topic was initiated by my partner so I told him to tell us his perspective as he was staying with his parents until 2020! Below is his take on same!

As stupid a question as it may sound, but – How many of you have had a room of your own when you were kids? Or how many of you currently have a space of your own? For me, I got my own personal space only this year. That’s when I bought a house of my own. Before that I lived with my parents (like almost every Indian family) in a one bedroom hall apartment. By no means was it sad or unfortunate as I have zero complains. The point I am trying to put forward here is that how important personal space is. As a child I never realised that, maybe because I was, in a way, benefitting from the situation since I didn’t have to do any sort of cleaning or organizing. It was all done by my parents. But as I grew up and visited friends who had their own space, I understood the importance of it. It’s like having your own little world where you can do whatever you like the way you like. Noone can take that away from you. You feel a sense of freedom even in that confined space. Paradox much. You can be your authentic self there. There you can express yourself in the best possible way. Not just that, it teaches you a lot of things. You learn to take responsibility of your own things, learn to live by yourself. A very real example of this would be me. I always used to sleep with my parents in the same room, but whenever I had to sleep alone it would be scary for me. It took a lot of time for me to overcome that fear. It made me dependent in a lot of ways I believe.

Apart from the learnings it also gives you a sense of satisfaction of knowing that there is a place you can call your own, that defines you. I can attest to this fact because I feel the exact same things now when I am living in my own house. The sense of satisfaction of seeing things in a way I would have always wanted to. A sense of belonging. Living in a space that resonates with who I am. I don’t think this is something that people would think can impact their minds but I truly believe having your own little place does have a positive impact in some or the other way for sure. For me it has had a big impact and that too a positive one.

Would love to know your thoughts on this. Do you prefer staying alone or with family?

Fly me to the moon!

91/100

She opened her eyes and looked around as she was sitting on her swing. It seemed like such a fresh view, which surprised her as she was on the swing for past hour. She noticed how the waves were touching her feet gently when the swing was still. It made her feel like she was part of the sea, a small miniscule part of a big ocean but clearly completing the ocean. Just like each human completes this world and makes it what it is, a part of a big picture. She smiled at this positive thought. She started swinging, bending till she was almost laying horizontal to sand. As she swinged, she stared at the setting sun. Dusk was her favorite part of the day. It portrayed a love story between moon and sun which she could witness. The sea was in process of swalloing the sun and the moon was already up and about in the sky. Sky. She now stared up as she continued to swing. Clouds were pretty today, she thought. Well, when are they not? Came the second thought running behind. She smiled. It made her happy, looking at the clouds. She could see some shapes forming and she tried to guess what was what. She observed all the changing colors in the sky, from blue clear sky to white as clouds came in, to yellow and orange taking over like making love as sun was setting, to a hint of pink like the sky blushed as it saw moon and sun meeting for that fleeting moment to it all becoming a dull gray. She sat up and stopped swinging. She noticed how the wind had picked up and it was blowing into her face. It was also getting cold. She sighed as she realized she will have to go now. She took in the scene one more time, the trees lined up behind her, the vast never ending ocean, the waves touching her feet, the residual of sun’s light, the sky and the stars starting to come in as clouds parted away. She closed her eyes and felt the wind. She felt like she dropped something and bent down to pick it up. As she did so, she saw a tiled floor and she was shocked for a moment. She sat up in shock and took in the surroundings. She was at her home, sitting on a swing and had dropped off the phone. Oh, what a dream!

Shoot your shot, I mean star!

90/100

He wanted to own that toy car right from the moment he had set his eyes on it but he knew they couldn’t afford it. At night as he sat by the window counting the number of vehicles that passed on the road below he saw the shooting star and wished for that car…

She had seen her child’s eager and wistful eyes as he saw the car. The inability to fulfill her child’s unsaid wish sliced her heart. So as she sat in balcony crying the silent tears she saw the shooting star and wished her child gets all the happiness in the world…

He knew they were right. Each word they uttered showed their care and concern, he should have had a secured job by now. And yet he had been a jerk and yelled at his parents for pressuring him. While he mulled over these events sipping his drink outside the bar, he saw the shooting star and wished that he cracks the interview tomorrow…

It had been an easy banter, the kind they always had. They always made fun of each other but this time the reactions weren’t that civil. There are misunderstandings. She saw the shooting star as she strolled the park and wished that they would always be the best friends they are…

He knew his time was ending. This disease was eating him up slowly, each day getting even more painful than the last one. Yet when he saw the shooting star from the window beside his bed he wished for some more time just so he could still wake up to see his wife’s smile to have him alive..

Not a day had passed when she wouldn’t have thought about her daughter, about what she could be doing, how she looked. She had no choice but to send her off to orphanage lest her in laws would have killed the girl child. As she waited for her husband to return she saw the shooting star and wished for her daughter’s happiness…

He had practiced it well, he knew he could crack it. He wanted that proud smile on his parent’s face as he got the prize. He sat revising the answers again and that’s when he saw the shooting star wishing he’d win the quiz competition tomorrow…

I know a pretty random post, don’t know how and why i wrote this. But it propped up in my mind as i read about the shooting star. Of all the explanations i read about the shooting star, this one seemed very interesting and sweet to me:
Legend has it that wishing upon a shooting star makes the wish come true. It is believed to have originated in Europe, when Greek astronomer Ptolemy, around AD 127-151, wrote that the Gods occassionally, out of curiosity, even boredom, peer down at the earth from between the spheres, and stars sometimes slip out of this gap, becoming visible as shooting or falling stars. Since the Gods are already looking at us at such a time, they tend to be more receptive to any wishes we make! One more interesting thing i came across is that in Chile when you spot a shooting star, you must pick up a stone in the same moment, while making a wish. If you’re in the Phillipines, you must tie a knot in your handkerchief instead!

At the end it all comes down to your beliefs! No harm in trying i say!
Oh and also, always keep a wish handy, you never know when you might just witness the shooting star! 

It can’t just be me?

89/100

Lately I am losing the will to respond to anyone and anything. I cannot make the small conversations, I feel exhausted just looking at a new text message. Is it just me? I have exhausted all my words and the promises of “yes, will see you soon”, “yes, I miss you too”. How many times can I say it and for how long? Situation is pretty much the same in India and not sure when we will get out of this. Not anytime soon from what I see. We are living pretty much in isolation. Not like I don’t miss people, I do. My words and mental strength is exhausted though. I want to avoid all conversations and just exist without any interference, atleast for sometime. Calls make me anxious, anyway never liked calls so now it’s like a big hurdle. I am someone who keeps a check on people, starts the conversation and wants to know what is going on. I have never waited on people to text me, I just do it whenever there has been some time gap. From that to a person who hates any new messages is a big shift and I am not sure I like it. I obviously blame the pandemic for it, people have nothing new to talk about. We have been texting so much that now it seems like a task. Work has become harder too with no personal interaction. I have never really complained as I find myself luckier than most out there but mental health is equally affected for all and we cannot and should not ignore that. Does anyone else feel the same?

Maybe I am just tired and need some sleep or this is the change we are all seeing? I wish I could pin point on what is causing this but only thing I can relate is that we have exhausted all our options, topics. What exactly should we talk about? Not everyone can do deep conversations, even those are exhausting and have lost context because can we even talk about deeper things when everyone and everything seems to be on a standstill? There are days I get my old mojo back but lately the nonmojo days have increased and that makes me sad.