The 100th!

100/100

Felt real nice to type that. Up until last night I was so so soooo happy and excited for this. I achieved something I had resolved I will. Felt like a win. I wanted to celebrate and thank you all. Would not have been possible without the support I received.

But, it will have to wait. A day can really change a lot. So maybe I will have to wait a couple of more days until I can celebrate this. Then I shall write what I wanted to. For today, sorry but my thoughts are bad. I will share them anyway because it’s a process. Maybe it will heal me. Who knows.

Hospital. Place where lives are born, treated, given and lost too. One place where you’ll find varied emotions at once. Someone’s happy for they have a new arrival in family, someone’s sad for someone might leave them soon. Personally, I find hospitals a little too depressing. There have been a few times I’ve been admitted. During those times, except for the bloody injections, all was good. People come to meet, you are pampered. Nice nice. It’s depressing when someone you know is in there admitted due to some illness. You feel threatened to lose people, people you love, care about, people you never expected to leave. This feeling kills us even before the actual loss. Every moment is anxiety filled yet hopeful. Anxiety until everything is good. Hopeful until it’s all over. Hospital is the only place I think even an atheist might be spotted praying. But to go through it all is hardship.

A girl can dream!

99/100

Almost there. Almost!

Freely walking down the road at an odd hour,
destination is a little too far,
but to go there I’ll need no team,
Certainly, a girl can dream!

Attending parties at our own discretion,
late night movies will be a viable option,
not missing out on life’s cream,
Atleast, a girl can dream!

Won’t be blamed with no fault of mine,
he’ll be punished, that idiot swine,
to be heard, i won’t need to scream,
Yes, a girl can dream.

Born to a king, married to a prince,
practices of dowry won’t make me wince,
I won’t be pushed to the extremes,
Wistful as it is, a girl can dream!

I’ll be treated as an equal,
Not degraded, if not special,
to be looked at with deserving esteem,
Of this, a girl can dream!

My birth won’t be seen at as a burden,
the shrewd thinking boundaries will widen,
for us with pride all parents will beam,
distant though, a girl can dream!

Misogyny will be abolished,
love and peace established,
of this yet, I see no gleam,
But still, a girl can dream!

Express. Value. Love.

98/100

If you are a reader, you would be familiar with that moment when you read something and it makes you feel so much that the moment and that line or quote never really leaves you. If you are a reader, you would know this. I had one such moment yesterday

It’s really such a small sentence and it holds such a huge value. It conveys so many sentiments. It almost seems like human nature, to behave this way. People we love and cherish are also the people we take for granted. Because those people give us so much, we end up assuming they always will. There is a reason why “distance makes heart grow fonder” holds true, because sometimes it’s separation that makes us realize a person’s value. Needless to say, this line will always stay with me.

Let this tiny post be a big reminder for everyone reading to let that one person you have taken for granted know that they matter! ❤

It’s month end!!

97/100

Before I dive into the topic, I have to say what I keep saying “adulting is so hard”. Where is the pause button on this adulting business? Need one everytime I have to plan my finances. I am not a big spender so not like I have to control anything but adulting, in general, is expensive. Feel me yet?

I want to start with a very happy and cherished memory. I am very close to my grandma, like very. My mom worked as a teacher (she is now retired) so I was brought up by my grand mom too. I anyway think my mom is a super mom because I never ever felt like she was not there at any point in my childhood. But, my mom is not a gossiper! She hates being nosy and always allowed me to share what I wanted. This was not the case with my grandma. She wanted all details, which friend is doing what, who said what to whom. Everything. So naturally, I shared a lot with her. I still do. As a retired RO herself, once she is done with newspaper and daily tv, she still needs real life gossip. So yes, since I was so close to my grandmom, when I grew old enough to get pocket money, it was she who I asked. As she was aware of where I might spend it, it was easy to ask her. Not that my dad would have asked me where I am spending, he is a big spender himself so would have been easier to ask him. Anyway, so considering the free yet disciplined upbringing I had, grandma decided I’d get 1000 bucks to start with. I was really small and really had no use except for buying presents for someone I love. So, I started to save it apart from general expense or if I went on any outing. No one asked me to save it, I did that on my own. I remember my grandma teasing me that since I have saved it, there is no need for more money until that’s spent and me crying to mom, announcing how it was unfair. Words like “it’s my right to receive” were used. It made everyone laugh and obviously the money kept coming in. It increased as I went to college and soon after college, I got my first job. My dear old grandma suggested that now she does not need to pay me, to say I was heartbroken is an understatement. Sure, I will earn but how can she stop giving me the pocket money? It had a sentimental value for me. I think she must have seen how hurt I was when my face fell so she said she will continue. I was happy again. Even though I was earning, I don’t think I understood adulting. All the bills at home, even my rail pass (since he got his own, he used to get mine too) was something my parents were taking care of. All I did was bought occasional gifts or ordered monthly ration for home. That too sometimes. Pocket money continued. It has only stopped sometime ago as my grandma said, “you need to give me pocket money now”. Like she would ever need my money! Even now, on birthdays, festivals and just like that too sometimes, they gift me in cash. I never say no, I love getting that. As I said, it has a sentimental value for me. From getting phone from parents to buying phone got them, the roles reversed. But what has not changed is that they are older to me so I still must get gifts from them (being the youngest in the house)!

Cut to now, when I am almost adulting (not really still). Paying all bills, get groceries, it’s all clear on what being independent actually means. When you sit at month end or start to manage the finances, it is a big task. Also the one I really hate. As I said, I like saving. So even checking the options on where to save is so tedious and needs such constant monitoring. Earlier my mom did all the bank work for me, even when I insisted she let me. She said she has more time than me so it’s only logical she helped me, it was true too. I hate monitoring markets, I have a agent who does so for me. I wish there was an agent to manage the bills too! I am already dreading the next salary credit because I will need to sort what goes where!

What’s your idea of financial independence and do you like managing your finances? Looking for tips!

Win-Win Day!

96/100

If today was a normal day (like I was not doing this challenge), I would not have written. I am dead tired, which is good in a way. Reminds me of pre covid days. My day started at 0630am and is still going on (2230 now). Just wrapped up work which was crazy crazy busy today. Like, too busy for a monday! I still consider the day a win.

The biggest reason for the same is, we went out for breakfast!! I love breakfast dates! They are really my most favorite! I mean I love all meals but breakfast dates are just special. We were three friends, we ate, we talked, we joked and I felt like I am a part of eco system again. It is a very rare feeling in these times of isolation. Everything we ordered was so yummy, even though I am so tired, I’d do it again in a blink of an eye! Only time one can get me out of bed on a workday at 0630 is either for a sunrise or to go on a breakfast date! We also met Oscar! The cutest pug ever and he had such a friendly pet mom, she did not mind my hopeless attempts at persuading Oscar to come to me, at all. She infact encouraged him. At some point, I really felt jealous of his life. I mean he came to the cafe with his pet mom, she fed him then he strolled around for a bit and lastly he decided to settle for a nap in his pet mom’s lap! He is one good boy! Here are some of the yummy things we had!

Looks amazing right? Tasted so so good. The cold brew with coconut water was the best drink! Yes, I am a coffee drinker now! Plus I am also open to experimenting with coffee! Question, how much avacado is too much avacado? Answer, it is never too much! I even took a takeaway of guacamole! Oh, there was this aubergine (eggplant) toast we had which was also delicious. Now it’s time to meet the goodest boy!

Oscar, the winner of goodest boy award!

Another win win kind of situation is that the book I was dying to read is finally here and I have started reading it!!! Hope to enjoy it to the fullest and share the learnings with you all.

How is Monday treating you?

Imagination spree!

95/100

We went on a drive before dinner today. It drizzled for a bit but nothing too major so our view was good. Our car was on an extended road. Like this road is newly made adjacent to highway with a divider in middle separating the twl. The street lights are on the main highway and this road did not have any lights. It was dark apart from the light from our car’s headlights. All we could see was two red lights at a distance ahead of us. So two red lights, seeming like eyes, staring at us as we moved ahead. The distance remained same but soon it started to seem like we were chasing the demon himself. Trees on both sides, red eyes and us moving in their direction. It felt pretty eerie after a point. Thanks to my (very active) imagination, I started to think about all sorts of “things” we might be chasing and who we might end up having an encounter with. I do believe that ghosts exists and that there are spirits with unfulfilled wishes, still tied to earth because a wish is not fulfilled. We were four of us in the car. I knew that the friend who was driving it, would take a you turn on a one way road if I suggested that it was demon we were chasing. The other girl would be interested in finding out what it is, she watches youtube videos about supernatural things as a hobby. Even I would want to know what it is, atleast upto a certain point. The last guy would not be too keen to chase this! So, weighing the situation I stayed shut and just let my imagination run as to what might happen if that indeed is a demon. Was it the demon leading us? Has he or she seen us? Is it a good spirit or a scorned one? Do we need any weapons? Do weapons even help? As we drove, the separation between highway and extension was about to end and the car (two red tail lights) ahead of us joined the rest of the traffic, as did we, much to my disappointment.

Do you believe in ghosts?

Why do we call it guilty pleasure?

94/100

I have had a very lazy day and the mood has stayed lazy throughout. We have seen all reality tv shows and such massy content. I really love watching reality tv. So when I started to write about my day, I wanted to mention it as “guilty pleasure”. But then I got to thinking why call it that? I mean content is content. Just because it does not win an oscar does not make it my guilt! They make people happy and well that should not be labeled this way. It’s really weird why people want to have standards for how one gets pleased too. I saw what makes me happy and that’s all I am gonna say about it. Done with society trying to make me feel guilty about something I like.

I don’t want to force myself to write or think today. It is consuming and as I said, I feel lazy. I want to keep that feeling with me. The only thought I had was what I already shared.

Do tell me what is your “guilty pleasure”? We can chat in comments, laziness allows me that!

No rains for me please!

93/100

It has been raining so much in Mumbai that I am dreading going anywhere. It really hampers everything and it is getting worse each year. I wanted to rant on it and it went on the lines of how unlucky we are to be subjected to this. That is when I remembered a conversation I had with my mom on luck and how it works

I once asked mom what exactly is luck, to which she answered that its God helping us a little in our task! I wondered that God is unbiased and helps everyone then why is it that only a few feel lucky and rest of us keep cursing our luck. As if mom read my mind, she furthur told me that God helps those who have worked sincerely towards it and deserve it. I found it pretty interesting. So luck is not just a fluke, we need to make luck by our constant efforts! But then there are times when i have worked and slogged for many things and still didnot get those! Does that mean i didnt deserve those? Or was it that my efforts were not enough? When i wondered this aloud, mom told me that there were also times when i got things without puting much efforts in them and that time I didnt ask why I got it, I didnt deserve it! That was the other side I was ignoring. There were actually many times when i got things just like that and i never thanked universe for it! But i still didnt understand the basis on which luck favoured us!
Slowly and gradually i have come to understand it! This little thing called luck works in its own funny ways. I would call it God’s blessing! If we observe our life, we are blessed in every moment, we are lucky every moment! I have realized that i dont thank God for all the times i feel blessed or lucky but the precise moment i feel something going against me i say ‘OH NO, why me’!

Universe and the super power works in its own mysterious ways, so we are not favoured with luck everytime or so we feel! We cannot understand those ways, that is the reason there is a super power beyond our comprehension! It is not for us to understand how His ways work! Ours is the job to work hard, be sincere and thank the universe for all that we have today! We are all God’s children, He will take care of each one of us! We all know this, but still many people go to astrologers and numerologists to make their future better! I dont say its wrong, everyone is curious with regards to future, I too read my zodiac daily! But that is not the way to please the universe or God! We all should first thank Him for what we have today!
If i am able to write this post, am luckier than many who never got a chance to study!
If I get to use technology, am luckier than many who dont even get food daily!
If I have parents, am luckier than many children in orphanage!
If I have a place to call home, am luckier than many who live on streets!
If I wake up in morning, i am luckier than many who died!

I had decided that I will try to stop cursing my luck and show gratitude instead for giving me such a blessed life! However, every now and then I slip and end up with self pity cursing and finding excuses. But today, I chose not to rant but to instead be grateful that I am safe home. I hope everyone else is safe too ❤

Do you believe in luck?

Private much!

92/100

In India, privacy is pretty much nonexistent for a lot of people because we stay in joint families and are brought up in a very inclusive environment where parents check in on everything we do. It has it’s pros and cons. While I come from a family where my parents gave me complete space after I started going to college, it is not the same for everyone. This topic was initiated by my partner so I told him to tell us his perspective as he was staying with his parents until 2020! Below is his take on same!

As stupid a question as it may sound, but – How many of you have had a room of your own when you were kids? Or how many of you currently have a space of your own? For me, I got my own personal space only this year. That’s when I bought a house of my own. Before that I lived with my parents (like almost every Indian family) in a one bedroom hall apartment. By no means was it sad or unfortunate as I have zero complains. The point I am trying to put forward here is that how important personal space is. As a child I never realised that, maybe because I was, in a way, benefitting from the situation since I didn’t have to do any sort of cleaning or organizing. It was all done by my parents. But as I grew up and visited friends who had their own space, I understood the importance of it. It’s like having your own little world where you can do whatever you like the way you like. Noone can take that away from you. You feel a sense of freedom even in that confined space. Paradox much. You can be your authentic self there. There you can express yourself in the best possible way. Not just that, it teaches you a lot of things. You learn to take responsibility of your own things, learn to live by yourself. A very real example of this would be me. I always used to sleep with my parents in the same room, but whenever I had to sleep alone it would be scary for me. It took a lot of time for me to overcome that fear. It made me dependent in a lot of ways I believe.

Apart from the learnings it also gives you a sense of satisfaction of knowing that there is a place you can call your own, that defines you. I can attest to this fact because I feel the exact same things now when I am living in my own house. The sense of satisfaction of seeing things in a way I would have always wanted to. A sense of belonging. Living in a space that resonates with who I am. I don’t think this is something that people would think can impact their minds but I truly believe having your own little place does have a positive impact in some or the other way for sure. For me it has had a big impact and that too a positive one.

Would love to know your thoughts on this. Do you prefer staying alone or with family?

Fly me to the moon!

91/100

She opened her eyes and looked around as she was sitting on her swing. It seemed like such a fresh view, which surprised her as she was on the swing for past hour. She noticed how the waves were touching her feet gently when the swing was still. It made her feel like she was part of the sea, a small miniscule part of a big ocean but clearly completing the ocean. Just like each human completes this world and makes it what it is, a part of a big picture. She smiled at this positive thought. She started swinging, bending till she was almost laying horizontal to sand. As she swinged, she stared at the setting sun. Dusk was her favorite part of the day. It portrayed a love story between moon and sun which she could witness. The sea was in process of swalloing the sun and the moon was already up and about in the sky. Sky. She now stared up as she continued to swing. Clouds were pretty today, she thought. Well, when are they not? Came the second thought running behind. She smiled. It made her happy, looking at the clouds. She could see some shapes forming and she tried to guess what was what. She observed all the changing colors in the sky, from blue clear sky to white as clouds came in, to yellow and orange taking over like making love as sun was setting, to a hint of pink like the sky blushed as it saw moon and sun meeting for that fleeting moment to it all becoming a dull gray. She sat up and stopped swinging. She noticed how the wind had picked up and it was blowing into her face. It was also getting cold. She sighed as she realized she will have to go now. She took in the scene one more time, the trees lined up behind her, the vast never ending ocean, the waves touching her feet, the residual of sun’s light, the sky and the stars starting to come in as clouds parted away. She closed her eyes and felt the wind. She felt like she dropped something and bent down to pick it up. As she did so, she saw a tiled floor and she was shocked for a moment. She sat up in shock and took in the surroundings. She was at her home, sitting on a swing and had dropped off the phone. Oh, what a dream!