If you are someone who believes “this is just a joke, nothing to be so offended or serious about”, don’t read further. I do not want you telling me to take it as a joke. I will not.
I was infuriated when I read this, just mildly putting it. How can someone be so stupid to make these “jokes” in such hard times and even more stupid to SHARE it? Imagine reading this between the helpline numbers and resource numbers that are being circulated, ugh. Even then I know a few people who’d find this funny and defend this saying that it’s a joke, chill. You chill, go inside the fucking freezer and chill there. Don’t come out. Stay chilled. These jokes are always targeted to riducule a spouse, degrade them and are usually sent by people who are married. Some with really long term marriages and kids. Well, tell me one thing, unless you were dragged to the ceremony, why did you get married and why are you staying married if your spouse is such a big problem? I am not sure how you won’t see the insult unless you had a problem. People take the cover of screen and show their true personalities on social media, knowingly or unknowingly. Laughing at insensitive and insulting jokes, sharing them and not seeing them for what they actually symbolize is something even educated men and women are guilty of.
While I know both men and women who enjoy these jokes, very sadly the joke is mostly targeted towards women in one way or another. Men slyly saying how they feel “free” because their wives have gone to her native, how the weapon of wives rage in these jokes is “rolling pin” or “belan” because women represent kitchen as per them and how men need boys night out because they are done with their wives cribbing. If you are a guy who thinks saying any one of these things is okay, please know you are misogynist and sexist. You do not deserve a supportive and caring partner because the base for any relationship is respect and these do not show respect, far from it, they are insulting. Oh there are some very peculiar jokes centering around how women just spend “hard earned” money of their husbands. It is suggesting and generalizing that women cannot sustain on their own and are not self sufficient. With so many problems highlighted as “jokes”, I wonder why do sexist men marry at all? Spare women the misery and don’t.
Now for those who think these are just harmless jokes, its all fun and these are so hilarious, the term you are looking for is Disparagement Humor. Let me also help you with definition. Disparagement humor elicits amusement through the denigration, derogation, humiliation, victimization, or belittlement of individuals, social groups or ideologies. Now, if this makes you laugh, you make me sick. You are actually saying it is okay to insult an entire group because it was a joke, no, what it is for real is hostile and prejudiced. A study suggests how these jokes and this type of humor is the base for far bigger problems. I quote directly from this study “In Study 1, male students were exposed to either sexist or non-sexist jokes. Males exposed to sexist jokes reported higher levels of rape proclivity in comparison to males exposed to non-sexist jokes”. I am in no way suggesting that everyone who sends this is a sexist. There are some people who just send everything they receive with zero thought, some want to poke their partners, some are frustrated in their relationship and some are sexist. All I can say is, don’t be someone who is hell bent on not seeing the error in your ways. If you didn’t know it in this light until now, now you do. Be better, call out people who are being sexist, educate them and help take this world one step closer to how it has been intended to be.