Fly me to the moon!

91/100

She opened her eyes and looked around as she was sitting on her swing. It seemed like such a fresh view, which surprised her as she was on the swing for past hour. She noticed how the waves were touching her feet gently when the swing was still. It made her feel like she was part of the sea, a small miniscule part of a big ocean but clearly completing the ocean. Just like each human completes this world and makes it what it is, a part of a big picture. She smiled at this positive thought. She started swinging, bending till she was almost laying horizontal to sand. As she swinged, she stared at the setting sun. Dusk was her favorite part of the day. It portrayed a love story between moon and sun which she could witness. The sea was in process of swalloing the sun and the moon was already up and about in the sky. Sky. She now stared up as she continued to swing. Clouds were pretty today, she thought. Well, when are they not? Came the second thought running behind. She smiled. It made her happy, looking at the clouds. She could see some shapes forming and she tried to guess what was what. She observed all the changing colors in the sky, from blue clear sky to white as clouds came in, to yellow and orange taking over like making love as sun was setting, to a hint of pink like the sky blushed as it saw moon and sun meeting for that fleeting moment to it all becoming a dull gray. She sat up and stopped swinging. She noticed how the wind had picked up and it was blowing into her face. It was also getting cold. She sighed as she realized she will have to go now. She took in the scene one more time, the trees lined up behind her, the vast never ending ocean, the waves touching her feet, the residual of sun’s light, the sky and the stars starting to come in as clouds parted away. She closed her eyes and felt the wind. She felt like she dropped something and bent down to pick it up. As she did so, she saw a tiled floor and she was shocked for a moment. She sat up in shock and took in the surroundings. She was at her home, sitting on a swing and had dropped off the phone. Oh, what a dream!

Shoot your shot, I mean star!

90/100

He wanted to own that toy car right from the moment he had set his eyes on it but he knew they couldn’t afford it. At night as he sat by the window counting the number of vehicles that passed on the road below he saw the shooting star and wished for that car…

She had seen her child’s eager and wistful eyes as he saw the car. The inability to fulfill her child’s unsaid wish sliced her heart. So as she sat in balcony crying the silent tears she saw the shooting star and wished her child gets all the happiness in the world…

He knew they were right. Each word they uttered showed their care and concern, he should have had a secured job by now. And yet he had been a jerk and yelled at his parents for pressuring him. While he mulled over these events sipping his drink outside the bar, he saw the shooting star and wished that he cracks the interview tomorrow…

It had been an easy banter, the kind they always had. They always made fun of each other but this time the reactions weren’t that civil. There are misunderstandings. She saw the shooting star as she strolled the park and wished that they would always be the best friends they are…

He knew his time was ending. This disease was eating him up slowly, each day getting even more painful than the last one. Yet when he saw the shooting star from the window beside his bed he wished for some more time just so he could still wake up to see his wife’s smile to have him alive..

Not a day had passed when she wouldn’t have thought about her daughter, about what she could be doing, how she looked. She had no choice but to send her off to orphanage lest her in laws would have killed the girl child. As she waited for her husband to return she saw the shooting star and wished for her daughter’s happiness…

He had practiced it well, he knew he could crack it. He wanted that proud smile on his parent’s face as he got the prize. He sat revising the answers again and that’s when he saw the shooting star wishing he’d win the quiz competition tomorrow…

I know a pretty random post, don’t know how and why i wrote this. But it propped up in my mind as i read about the shooting star. Of all the explanations i read about the shooting star, this one seemed very interesting and sweet to me:
Legend has it that wishing upon a shooting star makes the wish come true. It is believed to have originated in Europe, when Greek astronomer Ptolemy, around AD 127-151, wrote that the Gods occassionally, out of curiosity, even boredom, peer down at the earth from between the spheres, and stars sometimes slip out of this gap, becoming visible as shooting or falling stars. Since the Gods are already looking at us at such a time, they tend to be more receptive to any wishes we make! One more interesting thing i came across is that in Chile when you spot a shooting star, you must pick up a stone in the same moment, while making a wish. If you’re in the Phillipines, you must tie a knot in your handkerchief instead!

At the end it all comes down to your beliefs! No harm in trying i say!
Oh and also, always keep a wish handy, you never know when you might just witness the shooting star! 

It can’t just be me?

89/100

Lately I am losing the will to respond to anyone and anything. I cannot make the small conversations, I feel exhausted just looking at a new text message. Is it just me? I have exhausted all my words and the promises of “yes, will see you soon”, “yes, I miss you too”. How many times can I say it and for how long? Situation is pretty much the same in India and not sure when we will get out of this. Not anytime soon from what I see. We are living pretty much in isolation. Not like I don’t miss people, I do. My words and mental strength is exhausted though. I want to avoid all conversations and just exist without any interference, atleast for sometime. Calls make me anxious, anyway never liked calls so now it’s like a big hurdle. I am someone who keeps a check on people, starts the conversation and wants to know what is going on. I have never waited on people to text me, I just do it whenever there has been some time gap. From that to a person who hates any new messages is a big shift and I am not sure I like it. I obviously blame the pandemic for it, people have nothing new to talk about. We have been texting so much that now it seems like a task. Work has become harder too with no personal interaction. I have never really complained as I find myself luckier than most out there but mental health is equally affected for all and we cannot and should not ignore that. Does anyone else feel the same?

Maybe I am just tired and need some sleep or this is the change we are all seeing? I wish I could pin point on what is causing this but only thing I can relate is that we have exhausted all our options, topics. What exactly should we talk about? Not everyone can do deep conversations, even those are exhausting and have lost context because can we even talk about deeper things when everyone and everything seems to be on a standstill? There are days I get my old mojo back but lately the nonmojo days have increased and that makes me sad.

Happy Birthday!

88/100

I have been MIA here for a couple of days and that’s because it’s my favorite person’s birthday today so obviously lots of things were happening, all at once. I just asked him before starting to write this post as to how his birthday was and he says he had fun! Yep, a man of few words!

The most tiring thing was making a comic strip on our love story from scratch! When I say I have had sleepless nights, it means I either slept a couple of hours or did not at all for straight 48 hours. It is VERY HARD and for someone who has made nothing EVER, it was even harder. I tried finding existing templates to make my job easy but they were really not useful because my purpose was to recreate the actual scenes via the comic and existing templates were not even close. Whild I had the idea for so long, I kept procrastinating thinking I just have to add the avatars to template! But my, oh my, this has made me respect those who make actual comics so much!!!

This is one of the pages!

While I was still skeptical of my work and as always, over analytical, friends who saw this asked me who I got it made from!! To have people think this was done by a professional is so overwhelming that I couldn’t believe it my self. He himself knew I was working on something on my own and has been insisting I start this as a business now! I don’t think that is a good idea because of how much work I had to put into it and for days!!!

Anyway, all worth it when it makes the other person happy as that was the only aim. Do wish him in the comments so he feels even more special than he already does! 🙂

My personal favorite page!

Lost!

87/100

She was walking. All alone (or so she felt). She just kept moving ahead. It was dark. Darkness so deep, just like moving with closed eyes. That didn’t bother her. She kept on moving, surrounding herself more and more with the blanket of darkness. She couldn’t see anything. Couldn’t hear anyone. She couldn’t sense anything. She just felt one thing. Pain. Immense pain. Pain so cruel, her heart could explode. Her mind was crowded. Crowded with thoughts. Conflicting thoughts. Too many thoughts, all fighting with each other. Each thought fighting to make sense. None making sense to her. She still could not believe what had happened. She had just lived her nightmare. All that she thought she would never let happen to her was exactly what had happened. She had lost control over her life. What went wrong?? She thought. That is all she had been trying to figure. She was tired. Tired of thinking. She had been crying herself to sleep ever since. Every night she cried till the tears dried out. Now She wanted to cry out loud. She wanted to share what she was going through. She knew what will happen. She would be asked to move on. That is what she has been trying to do. Move on. But all she sees is darkness. Sympathy, that is what she would be offered. She did not want that. She hates it. She is not weak. She is a fighter. She will fight this, she thought. But one step ahead reminded her something and she was two steps behind. Broke, that is how she felt. What next, she thought. Lost in her pain she could hear voices now. She heard her name being called. She knew the voice. She answered and left with the voice. Moving ahead all she could see was darkness. Once she was scared of darkness, now darkness is all she has. She laughed at her thought. A cold laugh. She kept moving. All alone (or so she felt).

I wrote this when I was going through something very dark in my life!

Where it all started!

83/100

It’s my partner’s birthday on Sunday and that is all my head and day is occupied with lately! I want to do something special for him but I am really short of ideas!!! He will be reading this (he is my first reader and proofreader too) so please pay extra attention to the point that it has been hard planning anything!!! However, why wait till Sunday to make you feel special? I am in a happy mood today so have decided to share how me and him actually met. It will be a story for you all and trip down memory lane for him! 🙂

So, 2018, picture a girl dancing with her office friend on an empty road as their car had taken a stop before the final picnic spot. This said friend was recording the said funny dance and posted it on her social media where it caught the eye of a boy as girl’s office colleague is boy’s college friend. Who could have imagined this? He texts asking about the girl in the video to his friend and says he would like to speak to her (Talk about going straight for the shot, eh?). So, I was still merrily enjoying my office outing when I was told about this random boy and how he “liked” my dance or video or whatever it was! To be honest, my first reaction was “okay”. Like, fine a guy liked my video, no big deal. I did not even think much over it when this colleague (our common friend aka cupid) told me he wants to talk to me. I was like, huh?? What? Ofcourse, I will not talk and this was it. We spent our office outing enjoying the camping and just like that the weekend was over. What was not over was this common friend’s insistence that I have to atleast speak to the guy, he is amazing and so on and so forth. Just to get her off my back and because I love her dearly, I said okay I will speak to him and she inturn told him to message me. Here is the interesting bit, for someone who wanted to speak to me, this guy took his own time messaging and I am not used to waiting (later it became known he had a hectic work day which caused the delay). So, what do you think I’d have done? I really wanted this done with and never really believed in waiting for the guy to message so I messaged him instead!! In my head, it was suppose to be a quick chat and then bye bye. But here we are, three and a half years later, with me narrating the start of this story!

Love came to me when I least expected it. Least. I was too focused on work and enjoying my life, one trip at a time to get into a serious relationship! He, on the other hand, was looking for a serious relationship. We spoke for about 10 days I guess, video calls and chatting, like it goes before he asked me out on a date. Not in a cheesy way, more like two friends wanting to hang and I said yes because it was not cheesy plus we were going to a flea market so I was really excited about that, apart from meeting him ofcourse! The meeting did not seem like it was our first, I felt at ease immediately and we were talking, roaming and telling stories to each other in no time (I have no clue how he felt but I am guessing it was good for him and you will know why soon!). The best part? Food. I am a hogger and he does not scare easy I guess because he was okay with no matter how much I ate and was willing to check more food options (big big YESSSSS!). It was a cute evening date followed by a peaceful dinner and then we went home. I reached after him as I lived a little farther from where we had been and as soon as I texted him I reached, he asked me if I will be his girlfriend (that’s how I know he must have enjoyed too). While we have had our share of ups and major downs, I am pretty sure that yes was a good decision on my part. How did he know in 5 hours of meeting that he loves me? I don’t know. When I ask him, he says “I just knew”. He is a man of few words and I never stop talking. He hardly expresses and I hardly contain emotions. He is the calm and I am the storm. I can deal with all these opposites! What I cannot deal with is why does he have to add ketchup to everything? It changes the taste!!!

Hope my story brought a smile to your face, I love love stories so do let me know if you have one too?

Why do you write?

82/100

I have read a couple of posts here in past week where people are talking about what motivates them to write and what’s their idea behind it. Reading those got me thinking, why do I write? To my surprise, there is no easy answer other than one obvious one. I enjoy it. I enjoy putting down words, I don’t necessarily think I am a good writer but on rare occasions I do get words on my notepad or phone pad and they seem to make a beautiful sync, it makes me happy. So happy. Words are beautiful and they have magic and power. They can take you places, they can make you feel, they are powerful to bring a change and to be able to sometimes succeed in doing that in even a small way, what a win! What a feeling! It more or else feels like writing has become a part of my existence! When I am sad, it is therapeutic. When I am happy, it is the best form of celebration. When I am angry, it is an outlet I am most thankful for. When I feel nothing, numb, I read something and if nothing atleast the peace envelopes my head. Even when you are journaling, it has been identified to have so many benefits. So it’s not just about people, writing is how you communicate with yourself. When you start writing for yourself, you can come across thoughts you did not know were buried inside you. It’s like a healing process for yourself and also a form of self love. That’s not it, I have used my writing to voice my opinions on matters so many don’t talk about. Politics, bullying, abuse, sexual offenders, feminism. It does not sit well with everyone but writing gives you to medium to broadcast your opinions. You never know who will read what you write and it might end up helping that one person who could relate. It’s the best thing ever, when something you write inspires someone or they relate to it or it is something they learn from. I have been on the other end of being inspired, relating and learning so many times. I believe in writing and it’s transforming ability with all my might.

I am sure you all would have your own reasons and beliefs which make you write and share, do tell me about them?

Facade!

81/100

She was loved by all. Everyone wanted to be with her. She was vibrant in nature so the attraction made sense. Good company to be with. She never knew hurting others or so she thought. She wanted people to be happy. It made her happy to see others happy. But, making everyone happy is impossible. Only if she knew this. Instead, the one’s she couldn’t make happy thought of her as biased. Maybe it was true. There were a few she absolutely loved to see happy. Her heart soared high in happiness when she saw them happy. So she tried more for them. But in process some were ignored, never intentionally. Though not on purpose, people were hurt. Hearts grew apart. That’s when she felt the effect. The distance, the heartache. She felt it all. She didn’t know what went wrong. She could sense people drifting away. She tried stopping them, only separating the already distant hearts more. She was accused. She tried to explain, she failed. She tried to match up, she failed. Maybe trying too much was the problem. But she couldn’t help it. She never wanted this. It broke her. But there were those who still loved her. They supported her. She needed it. Seeing people who once loved her, who she loved, loathing her, blaming her wasn’t easy to live with. But then there were those who cared for her, genuinely. She treasured them. She could survive seeing them happy. She would be the way she is, for them. She just existed, pretending to live. Pretending for those who loved her. Pretending to be happy. She thought it was easier, easier than admitting that she was sad. That would require reasons and explanations, leading to more heartache. No. Pretending to be happy is easy. Yet sometimes, even now, the pretence fades, revealing the real her. She cries. Sometimes its okay to let the tears flow. They flow reliving those memories and with a lot of could-have-been scenarios. But she soon gets back to pretending as life with tears and what ifs and memories is not survivable. Sometimes she is actually happy. At those times, she hopes and wishes that maybe someday she’ll be so perfect at pretence that she might actually end up being happy forever.

Forever is a myth, if only she knew.

Too many goodbyes!

79/100

I am not sure if it’s the air or something on our cards, a lot many of our friends are in the process of moving or looking for opportunities to move to a different country. It almost feels like a part of our life will be at a standstill and there is not much we can do! It has stired a box of memories from which have fallen the scenes documented in our heads which are playing like a roll of film on display. It’s almost like if I closed my eyes, I can relive those moments but I know when I open my eyes I’ll be alone. With that, comes the fear that as time passes, these pictures and scenes in our head and heart will fade leaving us with nothing but fragments of how it used to feel. The laughter that echoes everywhere whenever we meet will be a distant sound trying to come afore but failing. We will yearn for the warmth our hearts feel with their proximity and love just like a fireplace feels in a cold barren land with piercing winds. While the move is yet to happen, the news itself is very unsettling. I am torn in half with feeling happy for their upcoming move and sad that the distance between us will increase! Why are goodbyes so hard? Why is it wrenching my heart even before the time of move is finalized? Why is this emptiness surrounding me like I have entered some trapped door alone and there is no exit in sight? Why does love have to be so hard? I wish I could practice detachment as easily as some people do but no, I am that idiot who has walls up her heart but once someone enters there is no easy way to part with them.