Two cents on being judged!

So, I was having a very pleasant day today after a harrowing and mentally exhausting Friday evening. I was looking forward to the day, it went much better than I anticipated and I was super proud of myself for getting through it making everyone happy. It was a day of mini milestones and a lot of “firsts”. Yay to all those.

As a part of the plan, me, my would be husband and his father went to get some bookings done for our wedding. We want to have a small wedding, considering the circumstances and so we were just trying to convey the same. Everything was going good except one thing. Me (29) and my boyfriend (31) were asked about our age thrice by the same person. Each time the question that followed was “Is this your first marriage then?” We patiently answered each time as “yes”. It really does not bother me that as per him we are marrying “late”. What does bother me is that he thinks he has the right to judge us? What entitlement! My mind is blown. Oh and it did not end there. We were asked to fill a form and we reached a section which said “income”. My bf asked what are we suppose to specify there and he told him “please write your annual income” and told me “you can leave it blank as you must not be earning”. So not only did I disappoint the guy by marrying late but also by being someone who is financially independent. What a bummer! He must be having such a hard day, since I failed him at so many levels? Hah!

I agree we stay in a society, the purpose of which is to help each other grow and support people. Much opposite to that, all it has become is a tool dragging people down and tainting them for something that is completely irrelevant and baseless. Marrying before 28 is okay and so is marrying after it. Being a housewife is okay and so is doing a job. Someone wanting kids early is okay and someone not wanting them at all is too. Every decision an individual takes is subjective, it does not HAVE to be in a particular way, just because some people decided what is good and bad for all. Even if you do believe you know what is good and bad for all, how about you let people do “bad” if they wish to? No lives are lost, no one is getting robbed because I am marrying “late”. Let people be, live and let live!

What’s also disappointing is that I am probably the only one who noticed and cared. Being subjected to judgements since forever now, my bullshit radar is high and I can spot some from a mile away. However, this was right in our faces and people still didn’t catch it, somehow I feel that’s one reason bullshit spreads too.

Stating the obvious!

I keep saying this out in the universe, what are we going to do about men? We need to do something and we need to do it as soon as possible. The entire MANkind overall is pretty lame and the issues they cause are pretty irritating. I am not even talking about the grave ones right now. The little petty things like unwanted advise, entitlement without cause and just evident patronizing are downright annoying.

What I am particularly stating in this post is how men think whatever women do is for them. How self consumed can one be? Women have literally moved on from pleasing men, and talking about those who were doing so earlier. There are many women who have never cared and are yet told by men how something they have done or not done is bothering them. Oh and how they can do it better. A man who has never held a brush before telling a woman who earns by doing makeup that “she is over doing it”. A man who has never worn a saree telling a woman who does fashion that “this saree is not correctly draped”. I just want to ask men, do you know how utterly foolish you seem when you are “blessing” women with these comments? If you guys do it thinking you are teaching women something, then situation is far worse than I’d like and the only way you guys can save some dignity is by shutting up. Consider it, just don’t opine until asked.

Look now, amongst us women we have bad apples too but easy to ignore one or two. How to ignore men in such huge numbers? The worse thing to have happened is internet being given to men who have an opinion on things they have no clue about.

Lastly, Dear Men, you don’t run the world, women don’t do things for you and we don’t need you to survive. Thank you.