I wonder if..

22/100

I just want to wonder aloud. If someone loves to do something, is it necessary to be good at it? Is it okay to do something you are not good at but love to? Or rather if I rephrase this, something I will not achieve anything from but absolutely love doing. I love shooting random videos of places I visit and then editing them or clicking picturesque scenes. I never post them on any of my social media, that’s not why I click or shoot them. I love documenting memories. I love it a lot. So essentially, my happiness and documenting memories are the only two purposes served. I doubt if that is okay because I get asked about it so many times, what do you do with these pictures? When I tell the true answer, I get, “oh, that’s all”. Somehow it seems that it is not enough? Does it need to have a higher purpose? Can I not choose my happiness? Do I have to be productive? Somedays I randomly paint, somedays I wake up at 6 to catch sunrise. No reason. I just do it because it makes me happy. I hope that’s okay.

Lately, I have been wondering if I should do random fun collections of fiction world I love. Harry Potter, Game of Thrones etc. Why? No reason. I just love doing random things. Last week, I wanted to do blogs and videos about places I have traveled but I have no clue what made me chuck that idea. Sometimes, I wish I was not this random. However, since I am this random, I hope it’s okay?

Sky full of stars!

I have been reading Murakami’s books this month and if there is something that sticks to me significantly from his books is the way the characters talk to each other. The conversations are so stimulating, enlightening, deep and they tell us about what a person feels. You connect with character, empathize and understand it. I know it is fiction but won’t having those conversations with people we love really help us? We will be able to understand them and isn’t that what eventually each of us wants? To be understood. I am not saying what you talk needs to be dark or deep, it can be quirky, humorous, something you saw, something you read, something that stayed with you. A conversation where you share a piece of yourself with someone. Conversations can be about something that gives you sleepless nights or that one gesture you saw in a movie that you absolutely loved.

Not everyone can talk with clarity of feelings and thoughts, I know that. There are so many layers to this topic. There are people who don’t understand what they feel or their own thoughts, there are people who don’t care about their thoughts and just follow the herd, there are people who want to talk but are not good at it and there are also people who understand, can talk and want to do it but they don’t have anyone to talk to. This is so layered and I am pretty sure I have not covered it completely. Hah! How then should we expect to have these meaningful and stimulating conversations? I thought about my reason for not making these honest conversations as frequently, it is fear of being misunderstood or laughed at. I have shown love to people who are not kind, helped people who ended up belittling me and both of these were people I tried to have good conversations with. Weirds me out how when I thought of what has hurt me, these two instances came to my mind. In all honesty, I thought I had gotten over this and did not care about these people but writing this piece tells me that maybe the hurt is still there.

That brings me to my next point, writing is also a conversation. One that we have with ourself. It can reveal things which we have sub conciously burried, not necessarily sad thoughts, happy ones too. We must pen down our thoughts and spend time with them. Honest conversations can make you as happy, full and light at the same time as witnessing the golden hour on a mountain top. You will be left with a memory to revisit. I will end this with a quote I absolutely love.

Night air, good conversation, and a sky full of stars can heal almost any wound. ~ Beau Taplin