My lobster is so silly.

We completed 3 months of marriage recently (no, neither of us track it. It’s my sweetheart of a mom who sends me wishes each month and that is how I know). So anyway, I thought this is the best chance to expose and make fun of my “husband” (I swear I am not used to using this word). I have the occasion, I have the content so why not make the post out of it.

Let me start with a small description. He is tall, dark and very handsome and his first impression on people usually is that he is a “man of few words”, shy and a very quiet person. Oh and my favorite (hate it) assumption about him that people make, he is sweet. The only correct thing here is that he talks less. Everything else is just something people assume because he does not bother to correct them. He is a sly man. Time to spill some beans, he is dumb, forgetful, organized (ugh) and a milder version of Monica with regards to cleanliness. I sometimes think he keeps the mop and broom right besides him as it takes him nanoseconds to clean if something gets dirty. Last night we were watching harry potter (his first time) and he fell asleep (who does that????). I, obviously, tried to wake him up from his deep sleep by uttering the words “I am gonna eat on bed and let all the crumbs fall” and what I got from him was “noooooo” in a sleepy voice as he tried to reach for me, he gave up after few seconds and went back to sleep. Oh, he loves his sleep. One night I had a bout of intense coughing right in middle of my sleep. I sat up, tried drinking water and it hardly subsided. I lied back on bed again and this man who is sleeping besides me me, realizes there is some noise, does not bother opening his eyes and reaches for my throat (yep, you read it right) and starts pressing (kind of massaging??) my throat, almost making me choke. I had to yank his hand off me. Now a normal person would have rubbed my back, not him though. He is either dumb or wants to kill me (Lol). His idea of making my back better is to press my hands standing behind me and lifting me up. I am not going to bother you with my thoughts on it. He farts and then says “ooh that was a good one no?”. He eats my share of food without realizing and then says, “oh, you did not eat that?”.

I can go on but then he just hugged me as he came to sit besides me and I just found out that it is a bit hard to make fun of a guy who is hugging you. I don’t want to poke the man who waters my plants, heats our food, deals with my crazy demands (atleast tries) and remembers my medicine more than me. I am sure you have the idea by now so this should be enough, oh I cannot wait for his reaction to this!

PS: if you did not understand the title, watch FRIENDS!

Mommy blues!

Getting married is suppose to be a huge thing, but it is huge in different ways for different people. No matter who tells you how HUGE this step is, you decide your huge. The step is most impactful and life changing for the couple and their immediate family. Others are just making noise, either because they are happy or just because it is a norm.

I have been putting off discussing how huge or HUGE it has been for me. This post has been written maybe a month ago or more? Like when I was not married. I never could post it because it would have made what was happeneing too real and I din want that, I guess?

So, when did it hit me that I am taking this life-altering, painful yet happy step? It was one fine morning, maybe a month before wedding, when something happened which happens daily but that morning it hit me hard that it won’t happen after my marriage and oh my god, I hated that feeling. It sank my stomach, welled up my eyes and just made me chuck the whole thing, I mean the marriage. What exactly happened that morning you would ask? So, we have two bathrooms at my house. One is the common one and one is attached to my room (yep, pampered). So to avoid morning rush where mom and dad both are getting ready, my mom usually uses my bathroom. Daily, after taking the bath before exiting the room, my mom pauses besides my bed and runs her hands over my head, while I am sleeping. Praying for me, showering love and just simply being a mom. Now, I didn’t feel this daily because somedays I slept too deep to wake up from touch but on the days that I did feel it, I don’t think I have ever felt more loved in any other moments of my life. I know, I know, mom’s love cannot be compared and all that but to have that feeling hit you one month before marriage and to realize you will not feel this after you leave? H-EFFING-UGE!!!!!! Ever since that, while I penned my feelings, while I thought about it, while I imagined what it would be like being married, I just felt like bawling my eyes out!!! Nothing prepares you for this, no matter how much you know or how strong you are, to realize that you will not have a constant touch of your mom. It is a terrible realization.

I know this seems cruel and sad but for what it is worth, now when I have made the move I like living with the guy I love and we are building a new life together. So there is that to look forward to. Does not make up for that lost feeling, nothing would make up for that.

Two cents on being judged!

So, I was having a very pleasant day today after a harrowing and mentally exhausting Friday evening. I was looking forward to the day, it went much better than I anticipated and I was super proud of myself for getting through it making everyone happy. It was a day of mini milestones and a lot of “firsts”. Yay to all those.

As a part of the plan, me, my would be husband and his father went to get some bookings done for our wedding. We want to have a small wedding, considering the circumstances and so we were just trying to convey the same. Everything was going good except one thing. Me (29) and my boyfriend (31) were asked about our age thrice by the same person. Each time the question that followed was “Is this your first marriage then?” We patiently answered each time as “yes”. It really does not bother me that as per him we are marrying “late”. What does bother me is that he thinks he has the right to judge us? What entitlement! My mind is blown. Oh and it did not end there. We were asked to fill a form and we reached a section which said “income”. My bf asked what are we suppose to specify there and he told him “please write your annual income” and told me “you can leave it blank as you must not be earning”. So not only did I disappoint the guy by marrying late but also by being someone who is financially independent. What a bummer! He must be having such a hard day, since I failed him at so many levels? Hah!

I agree we stay in a society, the purpose of which is to help each other grow and support people. Much opposite to that, all it has become is a tool dragging people down and tainting them for something that is completely irrelevant and baseless. Marrying before 28 is okay and so is marrying after it. Being a housewife is okay and so is doing a job. Someone wanting kids early is okay and someone not wanting them at all is too. Every decision an individual takes is subjective, it does not HAVE to be in a particular way, just because some people decided what is good and bad for all. Even if you do believe you know what is good and bad for all, how about you let people do “bad” if they wish to? No lives are lost, no one is getting robbed because I am marrying “late”. Let people be, live and let live!

What’s also disappointing is that I am probably the only one who noticed and cared. Being subjected to judgements since forever now, my bullshit radar is high and I can spot some from a mile away. However, this was right in our faces and people still didn’t catch it, somehow I feel that’s one reason bullshit spreads too.