Aiming for hope!

Last three days have been crazy busy. I have either been planning my activities for next week or worrying that nothing will work out. Crazy!!!! I really have no clue where this post will take me but I just want to talk about what happens when you procrastinate and it is not because of yourself!!!

I am a person who likes things planned and in place well in advance. My advance is a bit too much, I agree but it harms no one. Call me proactive, call me weirdo or call me a monster, I need things planned. When I was thinking more on why do I like that, I was also confused if we can call this behavior as “being a control freak”. Control freak? I hope not. My need for having things planned is to calm my nerves and anxiety that something could go wrong. It sucks, living like this. I can plan things which are in my control, which don’t involve someone else. How do I do this for an activity that involves other people? Not everyone feels the same way, some people decide it right at last moment, some a little in advance (i am jealous of the balance this group has) and some just don’t decide. How do I work around that? It sucks. Sadly, the trouble does not end there. I am also skeptical about thinking too much or discussing too much about it. Even that makes me nervous. So is there anything left which does not make me nervous? Penning this is making me realize I am a freak-show (hehe).

So, I had stopped penning down at that point and I am resuming again after some hours. I read it again and my view on myself (lol) is that I am this anxious because the things I am planning for mean too much to me and have the power to hurt me a lot. My anxiety is peaked because this matters the most. I need it to be right. Nervousness is bound to happen right? However, I need to do my best and then hope that things will fall in place. All this worrying sucks and makes me a wrecking ball. I want to have a clear head where I am enjoying the process rather than worrying about it. Starting now, I will try to make everything I do fun and a turn it into a good memory. Too many people I love care about this as much as me and they wish the best for me, I will remember this when I worry next.

PS: If you know someone who likes planning things in advance, please help them in every way you can. It means the world to them (and me).

Where is my discount?

This post is about something I have learned only sometime ago (probably thanks to the man I am dating) and want to share it, as it might help others.

When we shop, we look for great deals, amazing discounts, bulk offers etc etc. A sale makes me as happy as the next person. But even otherwise, when you shop from a brand and there is no available discount you either buy the product as is or don’t. You don’t insist on a discount. Why? It’s a “brand” and that is not how it works. Meaning, we pay them as much as they demand. All of our bargaining and discount skills are instead used when we shop from small local vendors or in vegetable market. We demand price be reduced from people who probably earn less than us, all the while paying in full (very happily) to people who are already rich. Do you see the error in our ways? I am in no way suggesting that those small stores are not putting a huge margin, they expect us to bargain and they have the cost added up to it. We all know that. However, we also know the fair cost and sometimes (just for the kick) we argue for a further reduction. I, personally, am guilty of insisting on getting a better deal on an already nice offer. What’s worse? All this with people who barely make minimum wage, I did not know better and I do now. I believe it is okay to pay 100-200 bucks more to people. It mighy make a huge difference to them, even when the product is not actually worth that much. Be kind, the feeling makes up for the small cost.

The last part of this post will be something which is very obvious, this is not a personal learning but just a mention that this should not be done. There are many small business who are literally a team of two or three and sometimes even one person who is putting in all the efforts, to help you with end product of your choice. This could be a retail product or service that they provide. Their work needs appreciation as it is very tiring and self made. When you are considering dealing with such businesses, do not ghost them. You don’t want it, you must communicate and leave. It makes no sense to give them the notion of being interested and then ghosting them. Evil!

Be kind, tip big, don’t bargain to the point where it is silly and communicate your intentions. It is not that difficult.