Arya Stark, Geet, Jane Sloan, Meredith Grey, Hermione, Katniss..

10/100

This was the topic I wanted to write on as my first post of the 100 days challenge. However, I knew it would require research and time so I did what I do best, procrastinated. I have decided to pen this today. What essentially am I talking about you ask? Men writing women.

What exactly do I mean when I say this? Here are some of the common screenshots and pictures shared by people on internet that will show you the problem and then we can discuss it further

Let me start by mentioning something that I read and found very interesting. If you want to investigate how women have been written by men, start at the start, how “eve took the bite forbidden fruit” thereby blaming her for every sinful deed after that. Funny how what Adam did was not forbidden? Or maybe we have heard it in the manner where only Eve was criticized. You can take up so many books and you will find men objectifying women as mere sex objects. Is it really THAT difficult to write a complex woman character that goes beyond your bed and household? Sure, there are some who have got it right but we are majorly just sex objects. I mean “BREASTED BOOBILY”? Just write a book on boobs and get done with it. From the reading I have gotten done, writing women in third person is one thing and men achieve that easily, telling us how they think of women but to be her voice without knowing how females feel ends up being gross.

Women on other hand have proven to do a pretty nice job of writing male characters, no surprises there as we have all grown up reading male authors so they can place men better – case in point, Gone Girl. It has a story from both men and women point of view and both are amazingly justified. I am, by no way, suggesting that femal authors should be forced to write female characters that are strong. Everyone please write what you wish to. I don’t, personally, think gender has to do much with it as much as talent. All we want is for women to be real human beings in your stories, is that too much to ask? Make an effort to study the character you are building in your story, women are way more than their body. There have been researches put in place to suggest why men cheat, really astounding how many articles you will find on that. It is to tell us that it is done by men who are not emotionally stable. Yet, a woman character cannot be researched? If you have a character who is a housewife, ask them their thoughts? Don’t just make the character what you think a housewife is. Similarly, a teen girl is NOT JUST ABOUT HER HORMONES, nor is a teen boy. Teenagers have so many struggles but we see shows and books that speak only of hormones. There are good books that have actual stories but are they as famous as those about sex? I guess not.

If men want to write about women having sex, atleast ask women what they like rather than writing what you think women like! Make it a pleasurable read for us too. So far, all I have felt is gross. Sure enough, there is progress being made and we are seeing people write up characters of women as not just a piece of meat and I only hope the coming generation of writers do a better job.

Sky full of stars!

I have been reading Murakami’s books this month and if there is something that sticks to me significantly from his books is the way the characters talk to each other. The conversations are so stimulating, enlightening, deep and they tell us about what a person feels. You connect with character, empathize and understand it. I know it is fiction but won’t having those conversations with people we love really help us? We will be able to understand them and isn’t that what eventually each of us wants? To be understood. I am not saying what you talk needs to be dark or deep, it can be quirky, humorous, something you saw, something you read, something that stayed with you. A conversation where you share a piece of yourself with someone. Conversations can be about something that gives you sleepless nights or that one gesture you saw in a movie that you absolutely loved.

Not everyone can talk with clarity of feelings and thoughts, I know that. There are so many layers to this topic. There are people who don’t understand what they feel or their own thoughts, there are people who don’t care about their thoughts and just follow the herd, there are people who want to talk but are not good at it and there are also people who understand, can talk and want to do it but they don’t have anyone to talk to. This is so layered and I am pretty sure I have not covered it completely. Hah! How then should we expect to have these meaningful and stimulating conversations? I thought about my reason for not making these honest conversations as frequently, it is fear of being misunderstood or laughed at. I have shown love to people who are not kind, helped people who ended up belittling me and both of these were people I tried to have good conversations with. Weirds me out how when I thought of what has hurt me, these two instances came to my mind. In all honesty, I thought I had gotten over this and did not care about these people but writing this piece tells me that maybe the hurt is still there.

That brings me to my next point, writing is also a conversation. One that we have with ourself. It can reveal things which we have sub conciously burried, not necessarily sad thoughts, happy ones too. We must pen down our thoughts and spend time with them. Honest conversations can make you as happy, full and light at the same time as witnessing the golden hour on a mountain top. You will be left with a memory to revisit. I will end this with a quote I absolutely love.

Night air, good conversation, and a sky full of stars can heal almost any wound. ~ Beau Taplin