Express. Value. Love.

98/100

If you are a reader, you would be familiar with that moment when you read something and it makes you feel so much that the moment and that line or quote never really leaves you. If you are a reader, you would know this. I had one such moment yesterday

It’s really such a small sentence and it holds such a huge value. It conveys so many sentiments. It almost seems like human nature, to behave this way. People we love and cherish are also the people we take for granted. Because those people give us so much, we end up assuming they always will. There is a reason why “distance makes heart grow fonder” holds true, because sometimes it’s separation that makes us realize a person’s value. Needless to say, this line will always stay with me.

Let this tiny post be a big reminder for everyone reading to let that one person you have taken for granted know that they matter! ❀

Some questions related to WordPress!

86/100

You know one of those phases in life, you want to organize things. Sort them separately and put them in categories. I am in that phase and my muse is my blog. I want to customize some things, like a separate tab for categories. Also, I will be starting my travel series soon so I want to know somethings about that. I am so new here and everyone has such lovely blogs so it’s time to do a bit of revamping and I need help!

1) Should I do a separate page for travel series? If so, if i post on that page will that be on reader and feeds? Or will I need to post here and manually move it?

2) I want to have a page for just pictures I click, does that work? Or should pictures be posted as posts? Like can I instead keep adding them on that page I create? Honestly, my pictures are not that good so I am dicy if they should be posted separately haha.

3) I want to document a page adding the books I read or movies I see, I already have one but it’s so sad that I hardly feel like updating. Is there an option to post those separately on WP that I don’t know of?

I think that’s all the questions for now. I am sorry if this is not something I should be asking but really there is no way to figure it out that easily as google is not really that detailed. I have seen people help me so much here so I thought best to check the same with pros! πŸ™‚ After all, the moto is to grow together!

Learning never stops!

80/100

I have spoken about why I took up the challenge for writing daily for 100 days in short on some of my posts! I just wanted some discipline in my writing habits. For someone who wrote since she was a teenager, adulting really changed things and I drifted apart from my second love. I was thinking about this a lot today, why did I stop writing? It was really a random thought that occured to me in evening and I have been mulling over same since then. Basically, I was wondering what should I write about and I had a couple of topics. But just like a typical writer, when I was structuring the topics in my head, I drifted to thinking why did I even stop writing? If I have learnt one thing doing this challenge, it’s that it is best to let the words flow rather than plan beforehand. Both ways are amazing but impromptu writing has a feel which sometimes structured writing lacks. What’s wonderful is that I have again drifted from the topic! One of the strongest reasons why I feel I stopped writing is because I stopped reading, which is my first love. Now that this challenge has helped me streamline my writing, I want to challenge myself to complete a certain number of books in this year, well whatever is left of it! I have believed this since start and have also read it that the key to becoming a good writer is to be a compulsive reader. If you just write what comes to your mind, it will exhaust you at some point. Reading what others write, knowing different perspectives, fiction and non fiction both, opens so many doors. Your thinking horizon expands and you can write so much more freely. I am not sure how many of you agree to this?

I have been reading since I can remember. I used to read so many books, it scared my mom. A book is a door to a whole new world, you can visit so many places, live so many lives, make so many friends and this is all just by reading. If you have not guessed, I love reading fiction or autobiographies. Reading about people’s lives, knowing their struggles and watching them win over them motivates me. Entering a fictional world where good wins over bad makes me believe in power of universe again. Past few years have taken away the two most treasured things of my life and the reason is classic, I was busy. Having regained my focus for writing back, I cannot wait to start reading again. It is therapeutic, calming and so exciting I am already smiling thinking of it.

I have two questions though and I would love if you guys helped me with answers! What should be the number of books I should aim at reading this year as a motivation to move towards it? Which is your most favorite book? I am so looking forward to your answers! πŸ™‚

Open for celebrations and suggestions!

67/100

The more days pass by, the more motivated I feel about keeping up and growing with this blog and the amazing people that I have met through it. I have been writing since years now but was never ready to show my work to anyone. Even for this blog, a very few too close friends, including my partner know. Some of them non readers so expect for maybe 3 people, no one I personally know reads this blog. All the love and motivation I have for continuing this comes from you people who genuinely read this and communicate with me via comments. I cannot be grateful enough. There is no lie in the fact that this has kept me going through some of the roughest patches in last month. It takes a lot of efforts to think, research, pen down and read and reread what I write to make it worthwhile for anyone who chooses to spend few minutes reading it. I am also starting to communicate my emotions without feeling concious, so personal growth has been a huge win. Why am I so emotional today? It could be the wine mixed with the fact that I hit 200 followers. I am really shy and concious when it comes to celebrating my personal wins. I am not sure why but I just feel it’s nothing great that I have done. I end up crying with anxiety if something nice happens, yeah let’s add it to my quirks, shall we? But even as I type this, I know some of you will still get me. You will understand why I feel this way or how it is valid and legitimate. I respect and admire so many people I have met here and look forward to them posting. I, religiously, read the posts because I know what it takes to end up making a post worth publishing.

I am just happy and grateful. Since you guys have helped me, I want to get greedy and ask for one suggestion. Would people here be interested if I shared my travel stories and the pictures related to it?! Or would that be something that is boring. I would love for my travel to be documented with my words, just unsure if it is something you would be interested in reading?

Consequences!

39/100

Let me start by saying, I feel world would be a better place if people started thinking about the consequences their actions might have. Especially, when the actions are negative. I mean, if we are doing anything positive, we know it will be well received as it has pure intentions. Umm, what about the negative. It always has severe and varied consequences. If you shouted at someome, if you were rude to someone, if you trolled someone, if you were mean, if you were ignorant, if you were being frank…etcetera. it is bound to hurt, sooner or later. Whether it was intentional or not, does not matter at a later stage because the consequences are real. Your “unintentional” action has hurtful consequences. If everyone tried to preempt that, I think our lives would be invariably better.

I don’t think anyone can understand being impulsive or instinctive better than me. My impulse actions have also created some issues, which I apologize and learn from. So, I know it can happen that you have no pause to think of consequences. However, people who act negative without worrying about consequences repeatedly really bother me. It’s almost like they don’t care about anything except doing what they want to do. It makes me wonder, do these bad deeds ever sit on their conscience and makes them worry about their actions? Or do they have no remorse whatsoever? I am clueless about such existence. I have seen it but I have never understood.

Think about the amount of hurt that will be reduced if we paused and reflected that our reaction or action can hurt or negatively affect someone. It is a mix of empathy and self inspection. You worry about others and also care about your own actions. While on one side some say that all your bad Karma is getting accounted, on other side we have people who don’t believe in Karma at all. If not for worry of others then atleast to be in good books of universe, one must always reflect before and after their actions.

That stubborn kind!

Have you ever come across a person who never admits his mistake? Like the mistake seems apparent to every one except that person. They distract you by talking about anything but the mistake. Finding excuses of why the mistake happened (lame ones included) and stating them, in a way, as if that relieves him off the burden of doing the mistake. On rare occasions they cannot refuse the mistake, they find another issue with someone else and try to distract you with it. Oh, when you try to correct them, they laugh as if mocking you (too irritating, too too!!!). Also, they state their mistakes as a matter of pride or a joke to others (totally beyond me). How do deal with such a person? I put in my honest efforts to not get irritated, to not snap even after consistent attempts of provocation but there is only so much I can control. I try not to react or speak immediately and explain when things are calm but it’s all very consuming. It sucks all the energy out. Sometimes there is no other way left but to be stern and I hate talking down on people so that sits on my mind for so long. If there is a better way, please suggest.

What not to say?!

33/100

I don’t generally want to comment on what is best for someone who is depressed or anxious. Every person is different and they have their own way of dealing with things. What works for me might not work for someone else. Same way, what worked with one person you know will not necessarily work with someone else. Infact from what I have read, two depressive episodes are also different from each other and we cannot rely on same things to work the second time. While it is super important to speak to people about mental health and care about betterment of people we love, it does not have to coincide with unsolicited advise. There are some clear DO NOT DO which everyone should be aware of. These are not only applicable to people who are depressed or anxious, but also to anyone who is upset or feeling low. Anyone who is sad should not have to hear these things. As per personal experience, these are very hurtful and even triggering in some cases.

Do not say/do these things to anyone who is sad, depressed or anxious:

  • Anything that negates or minimizes their feelingsinvalidation is the most common thing people do indirectly or directly. What a person is going through ia best known to them, do not say or do anything that suggests their feelings are not valid
  • Dismiss the signs – there are numerous changes that can be spotted in someone’s behavior when they are depressed, do not dismiss it thinking it is a phase. It does not always heal with time.
  • Making it about yourself – this is again a very common mistake and something people do not intend to do but end up doing. When someone is expressing their feelings, never make it about yourself in any manner. The focal point should always be the person who is suffering.
  • Comparing it to others – Never suggest that they are going through something someone else had and force them to follow someone else’s model. It is a very subjective case for people, even if the scenario appears same to you no two brains work same.
  • Anything apathetic – It is better to not speak to someone who is depressed than to express apathy. More likely than not, a depressed person already feels burdened and apathy can only add to it. It can make them feel unloved which is the exact opposite of how they should be feeling.
  • Asking them to snap out of it – depression is not something that can be snapped out of. Do not ask people to shake off the sadness, cheer up, be happy. They want to but are unable to, us saying it will not make it happen.
  • Forcing them to try – while it is understandable that you want someone you love to recover, us forcing them to try harder will not yield the desired results. Adding pressure is not helpful in anyway to someone who is depressed.
  • “There are bigger problems” – BIG NO! Do not tell them that their reason or problem is small. They know there are bigger problems in world, for them their problem is so consuming that it does not allow them to step into any other avenue. This will only make them feel worse.
  • You are only thinking about yourself” – that is the problem, sherlock! They cannot get out of the loop which makes them sad. If you suggest or say anything that shows they are selfish, you are effectively adding to the problem.

We all know that depression is a mental health condition and we must never forget that when speaking to someone who has it. Just like you cannot say “snap out of it” to a cancer patient, it cannot be suggested to a depressed person either. So do not suggest anything that you would not to a physically ill person. Listen to these people who are going through issues, give them your time, ask them how you can help, make them feel like they have someone to bank on. Only they can get themselves out of the problem completely, you have to only be there in any capacity they require. Do not try to be a therapist, that is a professional’s job. Be a friend, loved one that you are and do things in that capacity.

YouTube streaming – yes or no?

27/100

I am sure everyone youtubes. I am hooked. I have some personal favorite youtubers whose videos I never miss. It is strangely therapeutic and engaging. I love gaming, funny, cooking and makeup videos a lot. Today however, I want to talk about a specific portion of YouTubing which is streaming.

Youtube streaming has been around for sometime but I have been into it since 2020, thanks to covid and lockdown. However, even after things did open I have found myself hooked to YouTube in general and streaming in particular. My partner hooked me onto it as one of our favorite standup comedians, Samay Raina, started streaming chess. He streams other games and random stuff too but majorly chess.

I think I was hooked because he adds humor to the game which otherwise can be a bit monotonous for someone who does not understand it completely. Even now, I am mostly hooked to his streams but I can watch other people stream chess as well. I even understand and guess the moves. I still don’t play it and that is the portion I am most amazed about. Essentially, that is the reason I decided to do a post on steaming. YouTube streaming is basically you watching someone else do things. Whether they are playing games, surfing on omegle or simply reacting to other videos. You are watching someone else play (chess in my case) and having fun without actually playing the sport. Isn’t that mind blowing? Don’t tell me that is what audience does on tournaments, this is different. I have access to everything that guy has and I can play the game but I choose to instead watch him play. Oh and it’s super fun, even addictive. In 2020, India was part of a international national online chess tournament and this guy streamed all those games online with help of official chess commentators. Let me tell you this, I enjoyed it as much as I have enjoyed live cricket. Even more because there I am not able to see it this up close. Not just that, India was in finals and our player seemingly lost the game due to website glitch. All the people watching the game appealed to the authorities and the decision was A TIE. We won a gold and some contribution came from that youtube stream. Isn’t it amazing? Gives me goosebumps to even recall it.

Streaming has also evolved so much. With lockdown, most things are virtual and it makes more people to join in. I have seen Viswanathan Anand play and teach along with Magnus Carlsen while a comedian was commentating. It is just too mind blowing for me, I am so sorry if you are unable to comprehend the same. Recently due to covid situation in India, Samay Raina and Tanmay Bhat did streaming for two days last weekend for 9 hours each with tons of people joining in and collected more than 6 million rupees, that should help you gauge the power of streaming. They were able to get likes of Konkana Sen, Raftaar, Badshah, all comedians, actors to come and play games while people got entertained and donated as per their wish. I was happy to see it in bits and pieces and can attest 100% entertainment.

The purpose is to introduce people who don’t already watch it, to streaming. YouTube in general has made me happy and kept me sane in these tough times so I thought I should share the happiness. With that, can you tell me if you too stream or watch streams? If yes, which streams do you watch? Tell me so I can do too and expand my horizons πŸ™‚

How to cope?

25/100

I was really excited for today’s blog, simply because I have completed a quarter portion of my 100 day target and I felt happy about it. Sadly, life happened and this might not a very happy post.

How to cope with repetitive disappointment? From a person, a job or just a situation. If all I get is regular disappointment, is it not right to move away from it? Even if we love and care about the person or thing so much, is it worth sticking around and keep getting disappointed? If the answer is to move away, how to cope from loss? And if the answer is to stick around and give more chances or make more attempts, then too the question is same, how to cope with sadness? Personally, I believe the answer is to be self sufficient, not to keep any expectations and not to give anyone or anything the power to disappoint. This clashes with another inner thought that is such an existence, of not having expectations from other beings, a fulfilling one? If you don’t touch hearts and people or things don’t touch your hearts, what is the greater purpose? So, once heart is involved, expectations are only natural.

Sadly, all I have are questions or internal clashes. I just hope if this disappointment gets toxic, I have the strength to move away.

I have been Queer Eyed!

20/100

I have been a lover of this show called QUEER EYE since FOREVER and it gives me so many feels when I see it! Today, all day we binged QUEER EYE while working and my love for this show has somehow increased which I didn’t know was a possibility. I continuously have this huge smile or happy tears when I am watching this show, I do “YASS GIRL” so many times I could give you a headache. Not even kidding. This show embraces learning and positivity in such an endearing way, you cannot help but feel so good.

They cover people’s struggles and show how one can learn so much from it. We must accept each part of ourselves, the good, the bad and the ugly. It makes us who we are. Oh and we are all so stunning! No matter how much the society or your own family has dragged you down, or your own thoughts are your demons, you deserve happiness. In abundance. Just look for it with open arms and most importantly, learn to show yourself love. One of the best parts about the show (as per me) is how they pick common people, like you and me, and make us the star of our lives and the show. Well, it’s so obvious really. We are the rockstars and heroes of our own lives and we deserve that attention and happiness. If you use movie as a metaphor for your life, be the badass main lead and pamper yourself for being so amazing. Yes, we falter. That is what makes this movie a hit, how you get over it and do better from there on. How you enjoy the ups and survive the downs. Rememeber that if you are experiencing the down, it’s not the end, hold on tight as the happiness will come to you.

You don’t need to do something extraordinary to deserve the happiness and love. Your struggles are defined by you and so are your victories. The best and the most relevant validation you can receive is from your ownself. Be a winner in your eyes. I wish we all had friends in our lives like those five superheros on the show which showed us how we are amazing and made us love ourselves in such a beautiful manner. The entire process is heart warming and to watch people win against their inner struggles is the kind of content that is the need of the hour in these tough times. Ah, I cannot stop fangirling over the show. If there is one thing you need to start watching is this show. Thank me later for the recommendation πŸ™‚

If you had to choose a movie to describe your life, which would it be? Mine would be a mix of Ye Jawaani Hai Deewani, Dead Poets Society and Inside Out.