Some questions related to WordPress!

86/100

You know one of those phases in life, you want to organize things. Sort them separately and put them in categories. I am in that phase and my muse is my blog. I want to customize some things, like a separate tab for categories. Also, I will be starting my travel series soon so I want to know somethings about that. I am so new here and everyone has such lovely blogs so it’s time to do a bit of revamping and I need help!

1) Should I do a separate page for travel series? If so, if i post on that page will that be on reader and feeds? Or will I need to post here and manually move it?

2) I want to have a page for just pictures I click, does that work? Or should pictures be posted as posts? Like can I instead keep adding them on that page I create? Honestly, my pictures are not that good so I am dicy if they should be posted separately haha.

3) I want to document a page adding the books I read or movies I see, I already have one but it’s so sad that I hardly feel like updating. Is there an option to post those separately on WP that I don’t know of?

I think that’s all the questions for now. I am sorry if this is not something I should be asking but really there is no way to figure it out that easily as google is not really that detailed. I have seen people help me so much here so I thought best to check the same with pros! 🙂 After all, the moto is to grow together!

Learning never stops!

80/100

I have spoken about why I took up the challenge for writing daily for 100 days in short on some of my posts! I just wanted some discipline in my writing habits. For someone who wrote since she was a teenager, adulting really changed things and I drifted apart from my second love. I was thinking about this a lot today, why did I stop writing? It was really a random thought that occured to me in evening and I have been mulling over same since then. Basically, I was wondering what should I write about and I had a couple of topics. But just like a typical writer, when I was structuring the topics in my head, I drifted to thinking why did I even stop writing? If I have learnt one thing doing this challenge, it’s that it is best to let the words flow rather than plan beforehand. Both ways are amazing but impromptu writing has a feel which sometimes structured writing lacks. What’s wonderful is that I have again drifted from the topic! One of the strongest reasons why I feel I stopped writing is because I stopped reading, which is my first love. Now that this challenge has helped me streamline my writing, I want to challenge myself to complete a certain number of books in this year, well whatever is left of it! I have believed this since start and have also read it that the key to becoming a good writer is to be a compulsive reader. If you just write what comes to your mind, it will exhaust you at some point. Reading what others write, knowing different perspectives, fiction and non fiction both, opens so many doors. Your thinking horizon expands and you can write so much more freely. I am not sure how many of you agree to this?

I have been reading since I can remember. I used to read so many books, it scared my mom. A book is a door to a whole new world, you can visit so many places, live so many lives, make so many friends and this is all just by reading. If you have not guessed, I love reading fiction or autobiographies. Reading about people’s lives, knowing their struggles and watching them win over them motivates me. Entering a fictional world where good wins over bad makes me believe in power of universe again. Past few years have taken away the two most treasured things of my life and the reason is classic, I was busy. Having regained my focus for writing back, I cannot wait to start reading again. It is therapeutic, calming and so exciting I am already smiling thinking of it.

I have two questions though and I would love if you guys helped me with answers! What should be the number of books I should aim at reading this year as a motivation to move towards it? Which is your most favorite book? I am so looking forward to your answers! 🙂

Open for celebrations and suggestions!

67/100

The more days pass by, the more motivated I feel about keeping up and growing with this blog and the amazing people that I have met through it. I have been writing since years now but was never ready to show my work to anyone. Even for this blog, a very few too close friends, including my partner know. Some of them non readers so expect for maybe 3 people, no one I personally know reads this blog. All the love and motivation I have for continuing this comes from you people who genuinely read this and communicate with me via comments. I cannot be grateful enough. There is no lie in the fact that this has kept me going through some of the roughest patches in last month. It takes a lot of efforts to think, research, pen down and read and reread what I write to make it worthwhile for anyone who chooses to spend few minutes reading it. I am also starting to communicate my emotions without feeling concious, so personal growth has been a huge win. Why am I so emotional today? It could be the wine mixed with the fact that I hit 200 followers. I am really shy and concious when it comes to celebrating my personal wins. I am not sure why but I just feel it’s nothing great that I have done. I end up crying with anxiety if something nice happens, yeah let’s add it to my quirks, shall we? But even as I type this, I know some of you will still get me. You will understand why I feel this way or how it is valid and legitimate. I respect and admire so many people I have met here and look forward to them posting. I, religiously, read the posts because I know what it takes to end up making a post worth publishing.

I am just happy and grateful. Since you guys have helped me, I want to get greedy and ask for one suggestion. Would people here be interested if I shared my travel stories and the pictures related to it?! Or would that be something that is boring. I would love for my travel to be documented with my words, just unsure if it is something you would be interested in reading?

Consequences!

39/100

Let me start by saying, I feel world would be a better place if people started thinking about the consequences their actions might have. Especially, when the actions are negative. I mean, if we are doing anything positive, we know it will be well received as it has pure intentions. Umm, what about the negative. It always has severe and varied consequences. If you shouted at someome, if you were rude to someone, if you trolled someone, if you were mean, if you were ignorant, if you were being frank…etcetera. it is bound to hurt, sooner or later. Whether it was intentional or not, does not matter at a later stage because the consequences are real. Your “unintentional” action has hurtful consequences. If everyone tried to preempt that, I think our lives would be invariably better.

I don’t think anyone can understand being impulsive or instinctive better than me. My impulse actions have also created some issues, which I apologize and learn from. So, I know it can happen that you have no pause to think of consequences. However, people who act negative without worrying about consequences repeatedly really bother me. It’s almost like they don’t care about anything except doing what they want to do. It makes me wonder, do these bad deeds ever sit on their conscience and makes them worry about their actions? Or do they have no remorse whatsoever? I am clueless about such existence. I have seen it but I have never understood.

Think about the amount of hurt that will be reduced if we paused and reflected that our reaction or action can hurt or negatively affect someone. It is a mix of empathy and self inspection. You worry about others and also care about your own actions. While on one side some say that all your bad Karma is getting accounted, on other side we have people who don’t believe in Karma at all. If not for worry of others then atleast to be in good books of universe, one must always reflect before and after their actions.

That stubborn kind!

Have you ever come across a person who never admits his mistake? Like the mistake seems apparent to every one except that person. They distract you by talking about anything but the mistake. Finding excuses of why the mistake happened (lame ones included) and stating them, in a way, as if that relieves him off the burden of doing the mistake. On rare occasions they cannot refuse the mistake, they find another issue with someone else and try to distract you with it. Oh, when you try to correct them, they laugh as if mocking you (too irritating, too too!!!). Also, they state their mistakes as a matter of pride or a joke to others (totally beyond me). How do deal with such a person? I put in my honest efforts to not get irritated, to not snap even after consistent attempts of provocation but there is only so much I can control. I try not to react or speak immediately and explain when things are calm but it’s all very consuming. It sucks all the energy out. Sometimes there is no other way left but to be stern and I hate talking down on people so that sits on my mind for so long. If there is a better way, please suggest.

What not to say?!

33/100

I don’t generally want to comment on what is best for someone who is depressed or anxious. Every person is different and they have their own way of dealing with things. What works for me might not work for someone else. Same way, what worked with one person you know will not necessarily work with someone else. Infact from what I have read, two depressive episodes are also different from each other and we cannot rely on same things to work the second time. While it is super important to speak to people about mental health and care about betterment of people we love, it does not have to coincide with unsolicited advise. There are some clear DO NOT DO which everyone should be aware of. These are not only applicable to people who are depressed or anxious, but also to anyone who is upset or feeling low. Anyone who is sad should not have to hear these things. As per personal experience, these are very hurtful and even triggering in some cases.

Do not say/do these things to anyone who is sad, depressed or anxious:

  • Anything that negates or minimizes their feelingsinvalidation is the most common thing people do indirectly or directly. What a person is going through ia best known to them, do not say or do anything that suggests their feelings are not valid
  • Dismiss the signs – there are numerous changes that can be spotted in someone’s behavior when they are depressed, do not dismiss it thinking it is a phase. It does not always heal with time.
  • Making it about yourself – this is again a very common mistake and something people do not intend to do but end up doing. When someone is expressing their feelings, never make it about yourself in any manner. The focal point should always be the person who is suffering.
  • Comparing it to others – Never suggest that they are going through something someone else had and force them to follow someone else’s model. It is a very subjective case for people, even if the scenario appears same to you no two brains work same.
  • Anything apathetic – It is better to not speak to someone who is depressed than to express apathy. More likely than not, a depressed person already feels burdened and apathy can only add to it. It can make them feel unloved which is the exact opposite of how they should be feeling.
  • Asking them to snap out of it – depression is not something that can be snapped out of. Do not ask people to shake off the sadness, cheer up, be happy. They want to but are unable to, us saying it will not make it happen.
  • Forcing them to try – while it is understandable that you want someone you love to recover, us forcing them to try harder will not yield the desired results. Adding pressure is not helpful in anyway to someone who is depressed.
  • “There are bigger problems” – BIG NO! Do not tell them that their reason or problem is small. They know there are bigger problems in world, for them their problem is so consuming that it does not allow them to step into any other avenue. This will only make them feel worse.
  • You are only thinking about yourself” – that is the problem, sherlock! They cannot get out of the loop which makes them sad. If you suggest or say anything that shows they are selfish, you are effectively adding to the problem.

We all know that depression is a mental health condition and we must never forget that when speaking to someone who has it. Just like you cannot say “snap out of it” to a cancer patient, it cannot be suggested to a depressed person either. So do not suggest anything that you would not to a physically ill person. Listen to these people who are going through issues, give them your time, ask them how you can help, make them feel like they have someone to bank on. Only they can get themselves out of the problem completely, you have to only be there in any capacity they require. Do not try to be a therapist, that is a professional’s job. Be a friend, loved one that you are and do things in that capacity.

How to cope?

25/100

I was really excited for today’s blog, simply because I have completed a quarter portion of my 100 day target and I felt happy about it. Sadly, life happened and this might not a very happy post.

How to cope with repetitive disappointment? From a person, a job or just a situation. If all I get is regular disappointment, is it not right to move away from it? Even if we love and care about the person or thing so much, is it worth sticking around and keep getting disappointed? If the answer is to move away, how to cope from loss? And if the answer is to stick around and give more chances or make more attempts, then too the question is same, how to cope with sadness? Personally, I believe the answer is to be self sufficient, not to keep any expectations and not to give anyone or anything the power to disappoint. This clashes with another inner thought that is such an existence, of not having expectations from other beings, a fulfilling one? If you don’t touch hearts and people or things don’t touch your hearts, what is the greater purpose? So, once heart is involved, expectations are only natural.

Sadly, all I have are questions or internal clashes. I just hope if this disappointment gets toxic, I have the strength to move away.

I have been Queer Eyed!

20/100

I have been a lover of this show called QUEER EYE since FOREVER and it gives me so many feels when I see it! Today, all day we binged QUEER EYE while working and my love for this show has somehow increased which I didn’t know was a possibility. I continuously have this huge smile or happy tears when I am watching this show, I do “YASS GIRL” so many times I could give you a headache. Not even kidding. This show embraces learning and positivity in such an endearing way, you cannot help but feel so good.

They cover people’s struggles and show how one can learn so much from it. We must accept each part of ourselves, the good, the bad and the ugly. It makes us who we are. Oh and we are all so stunning! No matter how much the society or your own family has dragged you down, or your own thoughts are your demons, you deserve happiness. In abundance. Just look for it with open arms and most importantly, learn to show yourself love. One of the best parts about the show (as per me) is how they pick common people, like you and me, and make us the star of our lives and the show. Well, it’s so obvious really. We are the rockstars and heroes of our own lives and we deserve that attention and happiness. If you use movie as a metaphor for your life, be the badass main lead and pamper yourself for being so amazing. Yes, we falter. That is what makes this movie a hit, how you get over it and do better from there on. How you enjoy the ups and survive the downs. Rememeber that if you are experiencing the down, it’s not the end, hold on tight as the happiness will come to you.

You don’t need to do something extraordinary to deserve the happiness and love. Your struggles are defined by you and so are your victories. The best and the most relevant validation you can receive is from your ownself. Be a winner in your eyes. I wish we all had friends in our lives like those five superheros on the show which showed us how we are amazing and made us love ourselves in such a beautiful manner. The entire process is heart warming and to watch people win against their inner struggles is the kind of content that is the need of the hour in these tough times. Ah, I cannot stop fangirling over the show. If there is one thing you need to start watching is this show. Thank me later for the recommendation 🙂

If you had to choose a movie to describe your life, which would it be? Mine would be a mix of Ye Jawaani Hai Deewani, Dead Poets Society and Inside Out.

Mighty mighty strong!

15/100

What is strength, really? Who would you call strong?

I have been wondering about this a lot lately and came to a conclusion that I must pen down my thoughts which might give me some semblance or it might just confuse me more as it does more often than not. So, who could be termed as strong? We are way past the notion that it comes from just physical strength. Yes, physically active and well-built people are strong but only when accompanied by mental strength. Honestly, you need to be mentally strong to achieve physical strength too. For me, strength is an attribute I correlate with courage, endurance and bravery. A person who can do anything which I am scared of or I am incapable of doing is a strong person to me. My mom can cook meal for a dozen people without creating a fuss alongwith managing her job, a friend treks huge mountains almost every weekend, an acquaintance is staying alone abroad to build her career, and these are all very strong people to me. Very common examples but examples of ample strength. There has always been a lot of stereotyping around strength. Do we have to battle something to be categorized as strong? Maybe or maybe not. Isn’t every battle very subjective and personal? Definitely. What is a battle for some, could be a cakewalk for you. Foolish to generalize what can be categorized as strong. Plus won’t we always have that one person who thinks we are not strong enough, no matter what? Bahhh, so many right? Standing in a balcony of a flat on sixth storey requires strength for someone with vertigo and personally for me, presenting anything to an audience alone is scary and I feel very strong everytime I accomplish that. For introverts, even talking to people is everyday battle that they fight and win (hopelessly optimistic, effort is also a win). Every person who has the courage to love and commit is strong, even more so if they have had a bad experience in past. We are all surrounded by strength by way of amazing and strong people all around us. Yet, what do most of us choose to see? The triviality of the thing done, the lack of something that as per us is missing in it and oh my favorite, how we think they could have done it better. People around us lack tolerance and everyone battling their personal battles bears the brunt of it which makes one doubt their strength.

There are two other things that I believe need to be addressed. First, people’s obsession with wanting others to conquer their fears. What is the deal with that? Sure, if someone wants to do it we can motivate them. But people terming someone as pussy (don’t even get me started on how wrong the usage of the word in this context is!) because they won’t do something out of fear is downright intruding, impolite and unwanted. Someone being scared of something does not make them weak, it just means they love their life and don’t want to risk it. Respect their choice, it is literally basic etiquettes. Motivating someone is different from forcing someone or peer pressurizing them, understand the difference and know when to stop. Secondly, another misconception, which is thankfully fading away, is how a certain pedestal needs to be attained to be termed as strong. Who decides this please? Who is distributing the titles? Where is this panel sitting? Who told them they can decide? Who made them the jury? What are the parameters? Who agreed to them being parameters? Self proclaimed judgemental crap, that’s all it is. Whoever these people are, I hope you read this and know that every time I have managed to successfully carry off heels for a day, I have felt immensely strong and I can very well show my lack of tolerance by crushing your opinions under my heels should you choose to tell me otherwise!!!!

This is something I wrote long time ago and really needed to revisit because of something I am going through. Thought it to be worth a read for others as well. Whoever is reading this, you are mighty strong and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise 🙂

Podcasts

7/100

I think I am a little late to the party but how amazing are podcasts? I have only started listening to a few of them recently and it is engaging. They help us to learn new things, feels like we are not alone when we are listening and definitely helpful when the topic is something that resonates with us.

I have been listening to a wide range of topics and just still trying to figure out which ones I want to inculcate as a habit. I have seen people advocate podcasts as a effective helping tool. There are couple podcasts as well where a couple takes up relatable topics and provide the view of both sides which can get quite exciting when conversation is honest and stimulating. I have never succeeded in reading self help books, ever. However, I have noticed that I can sit through a self help podcast which is a small win for me so that is also one of the areas I want to venture into.

Best thing about podcasts is that you don’t even need to typecast yourself, you can listen to anything that pleases you. It has been suggested that they can be immensely enlightening, if we choose the correct ones. It amazes me that they were invented in 2004 and I am only getting hooked in 2021! Am I getting old? Hmmm, that’s a topic for another day.

I am really looking for good podcasts suggestions, please help a girl out!