Addicted to you!

“Fine”, she sighed forgiving him again!

Saturday Six Word Story Prompt (6WSP) #82 – July 17, 2021

After a gap of a week, now back participating in this amazing prompt by Shweta who I dearly adore 🙂 This week’s word is Drug. I have tried to do a toxic version of same, let me know how you find it?

Lost!

87/100

She was walking. All alone (or so she felt). She just kept moving ahead. It was dark. Darkness so deep, just like moving with closed eyes. That didn’t bother her. She kept on moving, surrounding herself more and more with the blanket of darkness. She couldn’t see anything. Couldn’t hear anyone. She couldn’t sense anything. She just felt one thing. Pain. Immense pain. Pain so cruel, her heart could explode. Her mind was crowded. Crowded with thoughts. Conflicting thoughts. Too many thoughts, all fighting with each other. Each thought fighting to make sense. None making sense to her. She still could not believe what had happened. She had just lived her nightmare. All that she thought she would never let happen to her was exactly what had happened. She had lost control over her life. What went wrong?? She thought. That is all she had been trying to figure. She was tired. Tired of thinking. She had been crying herself to sleep ever since. Every night she cried till the tears dried out. Now She wanted to cry out loud. She wanted to share what she was going through. She knew what will happen. She would be asked to move on. That is what she has been trying to do. Move on. But all she sees is darkness. Sympathy, that is what she would be offered. She did not want that. She hates it. She is not weak. She is a fighter. She will fight this, she thought. But one step ahead reminded her something and she was two steps behind. Broke, that is how she felt. What next, she thought. Lost in her pain she could hear voices now. She heard her name being called. She knew the voice. She answered and left with the voice. Moving ahead all she could see was darkness. Once she was scared of darkness, now darkness is all she has. She laughed at her thought. A cold laugh. She kept moving. All alone (or so she felt).

I wrote this when I was going through something very dark in my life!

They are never happy!

57/100

Have you met that one person who is never happy? No matter what is happening or how beautiful something is, they will have a problem. It’s like they will see the rainbow and say, “aye, it’s not even clearly visible or it’s not even full”. Who complains about the rainbow right? But there are people who will, especially when it is you who spotted the rainbow and not them. Oh, when they spot it, it must be the prettiest thing in the world. It’s just sad how they live. It’s sadder when we put in efforts for such people and all they do is point out issues. It is frustrating to be around such people, to say the least. Sometimes I wonder how their existence must be so exhausting. The constant complaining, comparing and nagging must really tire their brain. I can understand that such people either behave this way because they are insecure or just pure mean. But it’s hard to empathize with someone who does not empathize with anyone else. They feel happy sucking happiness out of others. They feel happy dragging others down. I usually just feel sorry for such people but I have to be honest it makes me downright angry sometimes. The blatant taunts, saying mean things as jokes, complaining and just all things that make them appear as a bully. I already know we must ignore such people, we don’t need them or their energy around us but have you ever thought of going up against them? Because they will hurt others if someone does not set the facts straight. I have always only seen people have the opinion of staying clear of such people or ignoring them but really I think we need to just tell them how their ways are so wrong. It does not have to be anything rude, just simple confrontation and letting them know the after effects of their behavior.

So, what would be your choice in dealing with such people? Looking forward to reading your opinions because nothing else can give me a better perspective 🙂

One powerful woman I know!

29/100

My grandmom is from Pakistan. I mean she was born in Pakistan and then during the India-Pakistan partition in 1947, she had to come to India. She always remembers her childhood fondly, except the part where they had to rush to India without any preparation whatsoever.

We talk about hardships we face, imagine starting from zero with nothing but the clothes you are wearing. I know that no struggle is small or big but I do think that what she and her family had to face, for that matter all the people who had to move had to face was a real hardship. Yet, I have never heard her badmouth anyone. She fondly remembers her house from childhood. She was 10 or 12 years old when this happened. They did not know they will be leaving their home. It’s strange to even think, to be forced out of your own house. Once one of older cousin asked her, how exactly did they come to India and how did she feel at that time. She took her time to reiterate the whole incident, or what she remembers. They had no time to pack or take anything with them. They simply left the house and got on a ship to come to India. She says they had no time to feel anything, it never sank in that they are leaving their home until they actually reached India. As a matter of fact, my grandmother’s sister was lost during this entire movement. They had no time to look for her as that would mean risking their own life and then *dramatic music* found her after reaching India. Can you imagine having to leave your family member behind to save yourself? Because you have no choice. When they came to India, they had nothing. Some money I guess, no valuables, no property, nothing.

They built everything from scratch with love and hardwork. She went on to complete her education and worked for railways (where she also met my grandfather) and the rest as they say is history. She is one strong, fierce and inspiring woman. My first and best grammar and maths teacher. Even today, her day starts with reading 2 full newspapers, solving sudoku puzzles along side some chai. She has all the latest gossip about bollywood alongside a thorough political and economic knowledge. If I end up being 20% like her when I am her age, I’d consider myself successful.

I decided to share her story so that everyone knows where I get my strong roots and morals from. It’s her and my mother. Also, you can watch “Sardar Ka Grandson” on netflix. Neena Gupta reminds me so much of my grandmother, that I decided to share about her today.

I wonder if..

22/100

I just want to wonder aloud. If someone loves to do something, is it necessary to be good at it? Is it okay to do something you are not good at but love to? Or rather if I rephrase this, something I will not achieve anything from but absolutely love doing. I love shooting random videos of places I visit and then editing them or clicking picturesque scenes. I never post them on any of my social media, that’s not why I click or shoot them. I love documenting memories. I love it a lot. So essentially, my happiness and documenting memories are the only two purposes served. I doubt if that is okay because I get asked about it so many times, what do you do with these pictures? When I tell the true answer, I get, “oh, that’s all”. Somehow it seems that it is not enough? Does it need to have a higher purpose? Can I not choose my happiness? Do I have to be productive? Somedays I randomly paint, somedays I wake up at 6 to catch sunrise. No reason. I just do it because it makes me happy. I hope that’s okay.

Lately, I have been wondering if I should do random fun collections of fiction world I love. Harry Potter, Game of Thrones etc. Why? No reason. I just love doing random things. Last week, I wanted to do blogs and videos about places I have traveled but I have no clue what made me chuck that idea. Sometimes, I wish I was not this random. However, since I am this random, I hope it’s okay?

How much empathy is too much empathy?

12/100

Is there something termed as “too much empathy?” I personally thought no term such as this exists, but when I checked on it I was surprised that it does exist. First things first, why did I check on this at all? There are some people I, sometimes, find myself unable to step in shoes of. I mean I cannot imagine doing what they do or what they have done. Looks like, I should not have to. So empathy means understanding what other person is going through and being able to gauge what they need and also be able to understand why they need it. It can be a gut that tells you or your understanding of that person. We, as humans, want to be understood without having to explain. Empathy is not agreeing to people who are wrong but just understanding when people feel discomfort to express and just respect that. It can be an actual challenge when the other person is struggling to articulate and feel it is a pressure to explain and that is when most empathy might be needed.

There is a term called as “empathetic reactivity” and it essentially means “when too much empathy is bad”. It is also be termed as “toxic empathy”. When we are empathizing, we are taking on other person’s feelings and when it is so excessive that we feel them as our feelings that is where we need to step back and check ourselves. Such stream of emotions can lead empathizer to hopelessness and depression. Another prominent and known problem here is when you empathize with everyone, you could end up feeling drained and having no time for your problems.

Although I know world needs more people who empathize, there are also good folks who are doing overtime here and this is just for them to take a break and concentrate on their ownself.

It starts today!

1/100

I was really happy with the title of this blog post, considering it took a lot time to come up with something as basic as this, but now I think it seems rather ominous. A complete contrast to what I wanted this title to be. Serves me right for procrastinating writing this for so long.

So, coming back to point, what starts today?! *drum rolllll* My journey to blog for 100 days daily!!!! I got the inspiration to do this from my best friend (who got inspiration from one of my blogs so this is like our blogging coming to a full circle). I have been planning on this for ages now but I just kept delaying it for some or the other reason. Wondering what changed for me to finally start this? My head is full, thoughts are overflowing and I want to bring them out in a systematic manner.

Question : What’s better than conversing loud with myself for 100 days and hoping something amazing comes out of it? Answer : Lying on bed and staring at the ceiling questioning all the past and future life decisions. (Just being sarcastic, incase you missed it)

As I start on this VERY DIFFICULT task, my first and foremost fear is I will give up midway!!!! It will break my heart but I don’t think I am disciplined enough to do this. It won’t be the first time if I give up. It is also one of the reasons I want to reach the finish line for this one, to bring some discipline and routine in my life!!! Being in India right now is not exactly ideal and I am hoping this journey will help document my emotions and cope with them too. Oddly enough, I am more optimistic about this entire thing than I was when I started penning this post. So then I guess, it does start today!

Wish me luck, REALLY need it!

My lobster is so silly.

We completed 3 months of marriage recently (no, neither of us track it. It’s my sweetheart of a mom who sends me wishes each month and that is how I know). So anyway, I thought this is the best chance to expose and make fun of my “husband” (I swear I am not used to using this word). I have the occasion, I have the content so why not make the post out of it.

Let me start with a small description. He is tall, dark and very handsome and his first impression on people usually is that he is a “man of few words”, shy and a very quiet person. Oh and my favorite (hate it) assumption about him that people make, he is sweet. The only correct thing here is that he talks less. Everything else is just something people assume because he does not bother to correct them. He is a sly man. Time to spill some beans, he is dumb, forgetful, organized (ugh) and a milder version of Monica with regards to cleanliness. I sometimes think he keeps the mop and broom right besides him as it takes him nanoseconds to clean if something gets dirty. Last night we were watching harry potter (his first time) and he fell asleep (who does that????). I, obviously, tried to wake him up from his deep sleep by uttering the words “I am gonna eat on bed and let all the crumbs fall” and what I got from him was “noooooo” in a sleepy voice as he tried to reach for me, he gave up after few seconds and went back to sleep. Oh, he loves his sleep. One night I had a bout of intense coughing right in middle of my sleep. I sat up, tried drinking water and it hardly subsided. I lied back on bed again and this man who is sleeping besides me me, realizes there is some noise, does not bother opening his eyes and reaches for my throat (yep, you read it right) and starts pressing (kind of massaging??) my throat, almost making me choke. I had to yank his hand off me. Now a normal person would have rubbed my back, not him though. He is either dumb or wants to kill me (Lol). His idea of making my back better is to press my hands standing behind me and lifting me up. I am not going to bother you with my thoughts on it. He farts and then says “ooh that was a good one no?”. He eats my share of food without realizing and then says, “oh, you did not eat that?”.

I can go on but then he just hugged me as he came to sit besides me and I just found out that it is a bit hard to make fun of a guy who is hugging you. I don’t want to poke the man who waters my plants, heats our food, deals with my crazy demands (atleast tries) and remembers my medicine more than me. I am sure you have the idea by now so this should be enough, oh I cannot wait for his reaction to this!

PS: if you did not understand the title, watch FRIENDS!

Sky full of stars!

I have been reading Murakami’s books this month and if there is something that sticks to me significantly from his books is the way the characters talk to each other. The conversations are so stimulating, enlightening, deep and they tell us about what a person feels. You connect with character, empathize and understand it. I know it is fiction but won’t having those conversations with people we love really help us? We will be able to understand them and isn’t that what eventually each of us wants? To be understood. I am not saying what you talk needs to be dark or deep, it can be quirky, humorous, something you saw, something you read, something that stayed with you. A conversation where you share a piece of yourself with someone. Conversations can be about something that gives you sleepless nights or that one gesture you saw in a movie that you absolutely loved.

Not everyone can talk with clarity of feelings and thoughts, I know that. There are so many layers to this topic. There are people who don’t understand what they feel or their own thoughts, there are people who don’t care about their thoughts and just follow the herd, there are people who want to talk but are not good at it and there are also people who understand, can talk and want to do it but they don’t have anyone to talk to. This is so layered and I am pretty sure I have not covered it completely. Hah! How then should we expect to have these meaningful and stimulating conversations? I thought about my reason for not making these honest conversations as frequently, it is fear of being misunderstood or laughed at. I have shown love to people who are not kind, helped people who ended up belittling me and both of these were people I tried to have good conversations with. Weirds me out how when I thought of what has hurt me, these two instances came to my mind. In all honesty, I thought I had gotten over this and did not care about these people but writing this piece tells me that maybe the hurt is still there.

That brings me to my next point, writing is also a conversation. One that we have with ourself. It can reveal things which we have sub conciously burried, not necessarily sad thoughts, happy ones too. We must pen down our thoughts and spend time with them. Honest conversations can make you as happy, full and light at the same time as witnessing the golden hour on a mountain top. You will be left with a memory to revisit. I will end this with a quote I absolutely love.

Night air, good conversation, and a sky full of stars can heal almost any wound. ~ Beau Taplin