To the good people I know!

4/100

““The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” ― Edmund Burke

I am no one to define a good or a bad person, however we will all agree that there come some scenarios where this distinction is as clear as black and white. There is no gray. So is it enough to be good? We did not do the bad deed, we are the good people. Is it okay to not stop the bad? The most common thing that I have seen good people do is “to do nothing at all”.

Personally, my blood boils when things are obviously wrong and I do my best to voice the same, correct people and help in anyway I can. However, I have seen so many people do or say nothing because there is no direct impact on them. The most common and relevant example for this is “apolitical” people. When this politics is killing people, you being apolitical is as good as helping facilitate those deaths. One of the few people I had just started looking upto as an influencer is “Beer Biceps”, Ranveer Allahbadia and was harshly reminded how we should choose our heros wisely. He recently tweeted that a person’s political opinion should not matter to opine about that person and then went on to suggest he is apolitical and that his ideology is “Don’t complain if you cannot do something about it” and he advised how he has brought change. So, homeless people should not complain because they cannot do anything about their poverty? Muslims should not complain because obviously their religion cannot be changed? What exactly does “don’t complain if you cannot change” mean here? To me, it only reeks of privilege where this person who has access to everything easily came to top and is now shitting on people beneath him. He is someone whom so many people look upto and he can use this to INFLUENCE people in the right way but hey, his job description says fitness so rest is not his responsibility. I am certain he flunked moral science class in school. This is exactly how the evil wins because the good people just sit back and watch the world burn.

This is just one example, right now tons of bollywood celebrities, rich people and basically the most privileged section of society is either running away, hiding or vacationing. Is it fair that they receive so much love from common people and when it is time to give back some of it? Is it fair that so many people are still saying or doing NOTHING to voice against problem makers?

To be extremely clear, not common man and not the influencers, no one should have to step up and assist someone who is dying or about to die because of covid. It’s someone else’s job. Common man is stepping up because authorities are NOT doing their job. When you see deaths around you and you have the power to make the difference but you choose to close your eyes because that’s convenient then you are letting the evil win and you are just as bad.

Too close to home!

2/100

I have already been struggling looking at all the misery in India due to second wave of covid. Whilst am trying to help people, it is not systematic and sometimes it works and sometimes it does not. But you do what you can, so I am trying. What comes with it though is realizing how many people are suffering, how uncertain life is and how inadequate we, as country, are medically and structurally. While this is harrowing enough, things got too personal this evening. My friend’s mom is hospitalized and although she is doing better, the hospital has made us aware of shortage of one of the medicines she needs. Since then we have been trying to source this medicine with no luck. To imagine that a big portion of my country is going through this is simply terrifying.

There is no other thought in my head except that I need to help in everyway possible. If you heard my voice on call now, you would hear panic, hurt, fear and despair. I am scared and numb at same time. I am praying that my next lead pans out, praying she gets better. Lot of prayers and positivity for her. However, this is not how it is suppose to be for anyone. This thought is always there nagging at the back of my mind fighting with another thought that we cannot change what has already happened and we just need to work to fix the current situation.

While I continue this internal war, all I want is safety and health for my loved ones. Whoever reads this, please pray for health and safety of those affected.

A piece of you please!

I am an only child. To top it, I was brought up mostly by my grandmother as both my parents were working. Since childhood, I loved being with myself. I was used to it. I still remember coming home from school, grandmom serving me lunch in her half sleepy state and then she dozed off while I had all the time to myself until my mother came in from her job in evening. I read, danced, watched tv, slept. I never missed someone’s company. I never wanted to visit a friend, I remember being upset if someone came in during those hours. Now, years later, I am struggling to find that time which is just mine to spend.

To clarify, I love living with the man I have married. Absolutely. He gives me as much space I want. He is not the problem, well technically no one here is a problem. It’s just that my parents miss me and his parents expect us to be around them and we both want to spend time with our friends too, mix that all and it is one messy dish called my life. Hah! Let’s go through my day in a gist. I wake up, have breakfast and either read or watch something before I start my work around noonish, we have lunch, we have dinner, I wrap up work, we chill for a bit, I read to sleep. If I look at it like that, I do have morning and night to be by myself but before marriage I had whole weekends too. Now? No, I do not have them to myself.

I don’t want to come out wrong, I love being with my family and his family but I miss my day of lying in bed ALL DAY ALONE DOING NOTHING. Call it unproductive but oh was that fun! I miss it so much. I hate adulting. No one warned me that adulting will involve answering so many calls. Ugh. I just want to be a kid that no one bothers or pays attention to. No one has huge expectations and you don’t hurt anyone. Just study, be a good kid and they will let you be by yourself. I work hard, I am a fairly okay person too I guess and yet, no one lets me be by myself now.

Ah, people have grave problems and I am just sulking for some time to waste. Maybe I still am a kid that way!

It’s January!

It’s my favorite month! Yayyy! I love January, I do think it is the best month. It is hardly to do with the fact that it is but my birth month. Maybe some part of it is related to the fact but majorly it is because January always feels so fresh. It indicates start of something new, we are all excited with high hopes and high spirits! Most importantly, I always have some trip planned during this time. That makes it my most favorite time of the year. That and ofcourse winter season. I mean, in bombay, we hardly feel cold but all the same I love it.

However, right now it is not cold and it breaks my heart that I have nothing planned, no trip in sight so far. It just makes me sad every now and then. I know there are bigger worries but a heart wants what it wants! Waking up anxious every morning even though I only fall asleep because I am tired of thinking and overthinking how this entire year could be a dud because of how it has started. There are some parts which are good but when what you love the most goes wrong, the other niceties just fade. You know what I mean? All I want is to not have my head so heavy and anxious all the time. It is starting to physically hurt.

Sometimes I think it is also because I expected this year to be extra special, every occasion of this year to be celebrated by doing what we like, doing what makes us happy. I hate celebrating my birthday, I do, which is why I always planned a trip and ran away to places where no one knows it’s my birthday. It served two purposes, I was traveling and no one around fussed about birthday. It was the only way I looked forward to my birthday, every year. Since last 6 to 7 years or maybe more. It was either that or I went to work where no one knows my birthday. That is the tradition. While 2021 is a small milestone for me personally, clearly universe has other plans. I dread each day as I get closer to my birthday about being forced to celebrate it. The anxiety is real and it makes me weep.

Ugh, this post is so sad, I hope I write again soon in this month itself and have something nicer to say. I really don’t want January to be like this. It sucks.

Two cents on being judged!

So, I was having a very pleasant day today after a harrowing and mentally exhausting Friday evening. I was looking forward to the day, it went much better than I anticipated and I was super proud of myself for getting through it making everyone happy. It was a day of mini milestones and a lot of “firsts”. Yay to all those.

As a part of the plan, me, my would be husband and his father went to get some bookings done for our wedding. We want to have a small wedding, considering the circumstances and so we were just trying to convey the same. Everything was going good except one thing. Me (29) and my boyfriend (31) were asked about our age thrice by the same person. Each time the question that followed was “Is this your first marriage then?” We patiently answered each time as “yes”. It really does not bother me that as per him we are marrying “late”. What does bother me is that he thinks he has the right to judge us? What entitlement! My mind is blown. Oh and it did not end there. We were asked to fill a form and we reached a section which said “income”. My bf asked what are we suppose to specify there and he told him “please write your annual income” and told me “you can leave it blank as you must not be earning”. So not only did I disappoint the guy by marrying late but also by being someone who is financially independent. What a bummer! He must be having such a hard day, since I failed him at so many levels? Hah!

I agree we stay in a society, the purpose of which is to help each other grow and support people. Much opposite to that, all it has become is a tool dragging people down and tainting them for something that is completely irrelevant and baseless. Marrying before 28 is okay and so is marrying after it. Being a housewife is okay and so is doing a job. Someone wanting kids early is okay and someone not wanting them at all is too. Every decision an individual takes is subjective, it does not HAVE to be in a particular way, just because some people decided what is good and bad for all. Even if you do believe you know what is good and bad for all, how about you let people do “bad” if they wish to? No lives are lost, no one is getting robbed because I am marrying “late”. Let people be, live and let live!

What’s also disappointing is that I am probably the only one who noticed and cared. Being subjected to judgements since forever now, my bullshit radar is high and I can spot some from a mile away. However, this was right in our faces and people still didn’t catch it, somehow I feel that’s one reason bullshit spreads too.

Stating the obvious!

I keep saying this out in the universe, what are we going to do about men? We need to do something and we need to do it as soon as possible. The entire MANkind overall is pretty lame and the issues they cause are pretty irritating. I am not even talking about the grave ones right now. The little petty things like unwanted advise, entitlement without cause and just evident patronizing are downright annoying.

What I am particularly stating in this post is how men think whatever women do is for them. How self consumed can one be? Women have literally moved on from pleasing men, and talking about those who were doing so earlier. There are many women who have never cared and are yet told by men how something they have done or not done is bothering them. Oh and how they can do it better. A man who has never held a brush before telling a woman who earns by doing makeup that “she is over doing it”. A man who has never worn a saree telling a woman who does fashion that “this saree is not correctly draped”. I just want to ask men, do you know how utterly foolish you seem when you are “blessing” women with these comments? If you guys do it thinking you are teaching women something, then situation is far worse than I’d like and the only way you guys can save some dignity is by shutting up. Consider it, just don’t opine until asked.

Look now, amongst us women we have bad apples too but easy to ignore one or two. How to ignore men in such huge numbers? The worse thing to have happened is internet being given to men who have an opinion on things they have no clue about.

Lastly, Dear Men, you don’t run the world, women don’t do things for you and we don’t need you to survive. Thank you.