Lately I am losing the will to respond to anyone and anything. I cannot make the small conversations, I feel exhausted just looking at a new text message. Is it just me? I have exhausted all my words and the promises of “yes, will see you soon”, “yes, I miss you too”. How many times can I say it and for how long? Situation is pretty much the same in India and not sure when we will get out of this. Not anytime soon from what I see. We are living pretty much in isolation. Not like I don’t miss people, I do. My words and mental strength is exhausted though. I want to avoid all conversations and just exist without any interference, atleast for sometime. Calls make me anxious, anyway never liked calls so now it’s like a big hurdle. I am someone who keeps a check on people, starts the conversation and wants to know what is going on. I have never waited on people to text me, I just do it whenever there has been some time gap. From that to a person who hates any new messages is a big shift and I am not sure I like it. I obviously blame the pandemic for it, people have nothing new to talk about. We have been texting so much that now it seems like a task. Work has become harder too with no personal interaction. I have never really complained as I find myself luckier than most out there but mental health is equally affected for all and we cannot and should not ignore that. Does anyone else feel the same?
Maybe I am just tired and need some sleep or this is the change we are all seeing? I wish I could pin point on what is causing this but only thing I can relate is that we have exhausted all our options, topics. What exactly should we talk about? Not everyone can do deep conversations, even those are exhausting and have lost context because can we even talk about deeper things when everyone and everything seems to be on a standstill? There are days I get my old mojo back but lately the nonmojo days have increased and that makes me sad.