It can’t just be me?

89/100

Lately I am losing the will to respond to anyone and anything. I cannot make the small conversations, I feel exhausted just looking at a new text message. Is it just me? I have exhausted all my words and the promises of “yes, will see you soon”, “yes, I miss you too”. How many times can I say it and for how long? Situation is pretty much the same in India and not sure when we will get out of this. Not anytime soon from what I see. We are living pretty much in isolation. Not like I don’t miss people, I do. My words and mental strength is exhausted though. I want to avoid all conversations and just exist without any interference, atleast for sometime. Calls make me anxious, anyway never liked calls so now it’s like a big hurdle. I am someone who keeps a check on people, starts the conversation and wants to know what is going on. I have never waited on people to text me, I just do it whenever there has been some time gap. From that to a person who hates any new messages is a big shift and I am not sure I like it. I obviously blame the pandemic for it, people have nothing new to talk about. We have been texting so much that now it seems like a task. Work has become harder too with no personal interaction. I have never really complained as I find myself luckier than most out there but mental health is equally affected for all and we cannot and should not ignore that. Does anyone else feel the same?

Maybe I am just tired and need some sleep or this is the change we are all seeing? I wish I could pin point on what is causing this but only thing I can relate is that we have exhausted all our options, topics. What exactly should we talk about? Not everyone can do deep conversations, even those are exhausting and have lost context because can we even talk about deeper things when everyone and everything seems to be on a standstill? There are days I get my old mojo back but lately the nonmojo days have increased and that makes me sad.

48 thoughts on “It can’t just be me?

  1. I think it happens at times, i say this because we all need moments to just recollect and recharged. Everything we do doesnt have to involve engaging others. I can say to your point about texting, it takes away from the actual interaction of another person.

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  2. I feel the same. In my case, it is a void which is giving me this feeling of not draining what is left of me in this pandemic. A void is never good but it has become this way these days that I’m fine with this void. I do yearn for sanity and I end up calling friends for long hours, trying to ignore the void. The pauses and gaps in calls have become a usual thing for me now. I am fine though, but not strong. Feels like an astronaut out in space and infrequent human conversations.

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    • Haha. I like the analogy. All I can say is, we are on the same boat. What can we possibly talk about so much when we have no interactions? Don’t be scared of the pauses or gaps, it’s okay. I agree about the void, although I might have exhausted and drained mine already πŸ™‚

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  3. It’s not just you. It happens to me as times too. More often than not, there will be an underlying issue that makes me feel that way. The pandemic certainly hasn’t made life easier. I immerse myself into things that I enjoy the most – reading, writing, watching funny movies/series. It has been my experience that they help a lot!

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  4. It’s not just you by any means. Burnout is getting pretty commonplace, including here with me. Much of the time I don’t have energy to write, etc… I can’t speak for everyone, but for me the negativity surrounding everything is worse than the actual virus and other problems we’re dealing with.

    I’ve got the disadvantage of being an empath in this environment though, and most of the time I feel like I’m swimming in an endless sea of drama, hate and fear nowadays.

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    • I am so sorry you are going through so much, thank you for sharing with me! I can understand completely. Negativity is at a all time high and it is really taking a toll now. Hope for you and me is that we are able to step away from this all and collect ourself before we get back!

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  5. we are living in trying times. no one (or at least not many) who is currently alive has the experience of living through a time like we are currently living through. humans need personal interactions ad now we are limited to mostly electronic interactions. but humans are resilient for history has shown us to be such way. when we force ourselves to do a task, like 100 posts, we put so much pressure on ourselves as we find people then expect a post and we dont want to let them down. but, i feel, people are most forgiving and understanding and only wish for you to be happy.

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    • This is so sweeet. I agree our generation and the generations living now have not experienced this at all, it is really dynamic and ever changing scenario. I love human interactions so I miss them. I actually like writing and that is something I look forward to, it’s chatting with people and having nothing to discuss that’s what is going down for me.

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  6. I’ve felt this way before. Usually taking a few days off helps…most of the time, it’s just my mind overthinking things. In my case, when I just sit down to answer the message or whatever, it’s a lot easier than I make it out to be. But yes, texting definitely feels less connective than a real connection, conversation is everything. Just listen to your gut and follow your heart. Everything passes in time and perception πŸ–€πŸ€—

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    • Yes, dear Ace. You have actually understood me so well. Thank you. I agree, I will take a couple of days off soon πŸ™‚ Oh, I agree. When we do answer a text, it’s much easier but the will go do it is really missing πŸ™‚

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  7. You are not alone, dear Pooja. It is hard, and inside of the hardness, it comes in waves, sometimes harder than others, and sometimes easier, and even beautiful. The paradox of life. Thinking about you, my friend. ❀️

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  8. You are not alone. Life that we had known is gone, and we are still struggling to to re-wire our brains to function in these different and difficult times. Please don’t be hard on yourself. Do what you have to do to feel better. Everyone else can wait, and they shall do so gladly if they truly care about you.😊

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    • Hello, thank you so much for this kind comment. I agree, we are yet to get used to this drastic change. Being cautious at all times and restricting movements, it’s really taking a toll now. But, we shall conquer πŸ™‚

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  9. “I obviously blame the pandemic for it, people have nothing new to talk about.”
    Seriously, I could feel every words you said!! I too feel the same. I’m just convincing myself that “This too shall pass, life goes on”.

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  10. I can totally relate to this. I was never really a text person, I would rather call and talk to people. But these days I keep my conversations limited. I try hard to block any kind of negative energy that has the ability to disrupt my mind and ignite my anxious emotions. It’s okay to avoid conversations as long as it’s helping you keep your mind sane. Take care of yourself and do everything that has even the remote possibility of making you happy.

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    • I can understand. This is all very consuming and on that allowing negativity will suck out everything! I can only hope we get out of this soon. Yes, trying to do things that make me happy.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Yeah I feel the same way. The situation sucks in Canada too and I’m tired of saying the same thing and saying I want to meet up. Obviously, I do but I just feel so blah sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah it’s opening up but due to the delta variant we still have to be super careful and it’s made reopening things more complicated. Sorry to hear about the situation in India and I truly hope things get better soon πŸ˜₯

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  12. Oh, so I can relate. I feel this way a lot lately. And I have to walk away from my phone the computer. And be in my own presence, focusing on nothing. If that makes any since. You just need a breather😊

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