We completed 3 months of marriage recently (no, neither of us track it. It’s my sweetheart of a mom who sends me wishes each month and that is how I know). So anyway, I thought this is the best chance to expose and make fun of my “husband” (I swear I am not used to using this word). I have the occasion, I have the content so why not make the post out of it.
Let me start with a small description. He is tall, dark and very handsome and his first impression on people usually is that he is a “man of few words”, shy and a very quiet person. Oh and my favorite (hate it) assumption about him that people make, he is sweet. The only correct thing here is that he talks less. Everything else is just something people assume because he does not bother to correct them. He is a sly man. Time to spill some beans, he is dumb, forgetful, organized (ugh) and a milder version of Monica with regards to cleanliness. I sometimes think he keeps the mop and broom right besides him as it takes him nanoseconds to clean if something gets dirty. Last night we were watching harry potter (his first time) and he fell asleep (who does that????). I, obviously, tried to wake him up from his deep sleep by uttering the words “I am gonna eat on bed and let all the crumbs fall” and what I got from him was “noooooo” in a sleepy voice as he tried to reach for me, he gave up after few seconds and went back to sleep. Oh, he loves his sleep. One night I had a bout of intense coughing right in middle of my sleep. I sat up, tried drinking water and it hardly subsided. I lied back on bed again and this man who is sleeping besides me me, realizes there is some noise, does not bother opening his eyes and reaches for my throat (yep, you read it right) and starts pressing (kind of massaging??) my throat, almost making me choke. I had to yank his hand off me. Now a normal person would have rubbed my back, not him though. He is either dumb or wants to kill me (Lol). His idea of making my back better is to press my hands standing behind me and lifting me up. I am not going to bother you with my thoughts on it. He farts and then says “ooh that was a good one no?”. He eats my share of food without realizing and then says, “oh, you did not eat that?”.
I can go on but then he just hugged me as he came to sit besides me and I just found out that it is a bit hard to make fun of a guy who is hugging you. I don’t want to poke the man who waters my plants, heats our food, deals with my crazy demands (atleast tries) and remembers my medicine more than me. I am sure you have the idea by now so this should be enough, oh I cannot wait for his reaction to this!
PS: if you did not understand the title, watch FRIENDS!