I am writing something after two years. Maybe even more than that. So like, a 25 month hiatus? Hah! My head right now is a ground full of random and immense thoughts, all racing towards finish line together and all of them winning. Does that even make sense? I think I did not write for so long because I often just wonder, “Do I make sense?” Now, I am not suddenly writing because I think I make sense. It is rather because I want to know if I make sense, I want to learn how to make sense.
With my anxiety at it’s peak (thank you 2020), I have been mulling a lot about how I want to do my best to not let this year pin me down. Surrounded by so many triggers, fear of unknowns and some knowns, with this perpetual home arrest that doesn’t end, constant worries and let downs and with this very serious illness surrounding us, anxiety is having a party in my head and I want to call it off!!! I want to get better and feel good. Some might think it is a bit late for it, however I don’t. I have to start somewhere, so here at 3am is my start. Weird huh? Actually, not weird enough because it is 2020! Right now amongst all the feelings I feel, the one that is relevant says all we need is a little push. My push came from a random conversation with a friend and I want this post to be that push for someone reading it. I am not a very positive person overall and I still want to hope that this will make someone understand it is never too late. Finish that book, cook something simple, treat yourself, dance a little, sleep a little extra, take that break and most importantly watch the sunset.
My posts might not be this ray of sunshine always and definitely won’t make a whole lot of sense (warned you) but this one is a small win and I want to enjoy it.
2020 has not been kind, so I have decided to be a little extra kind to myself and to others 💫